- 6 years ago
My SO and I who have been together and lived together for a long time, just moved a pretty far distance from home. The short of it is I’ve been torn about “marriage” for a long time now. Here’s the deal…I found out by accident he ordered a ring and it was shipped to a family members house when we were back home – prior to our move. When I found out this info. I thought he would be proposing before we moved, but he didn’t. So the first question is what is happening, is he having them ship the ring here to our new home? I can’t believe he has a ring and it’s not with him or on my finger lol. Second dilemma is I feel like I can’t bring up the subject of marriage anymore (something we have talked about a lot) knowing he mat have a plan because I’m afraid I’ll make his job more difficult. What I would say if I could is – maybe we should just go get married and plan a getaway/elopement. OR, I would say- if we decide to have an actual wedding with guests I want it to be very soon/minimal planning. I flip flop my mind regarding wanting to elope versus wanting a smaller 75 person wedding with little fuss. I know some advice would be to just wait but I’ve done that and my feelings are not good kept inside anymore. Also I’m actually nervous to even get “engaged”, aka ring on finger, and deal with all the attention and questions. I’m just kind of sad we weren’t able to get married a little sooner when we wanted (haven’t has the time really mainly because of a health issue) and people are so surprised we’ve been together so long and all the where’s the ring business and “boyfriend” labels of people thinking you’re not as committed as married people, yada yada. bother me more than I should let it. That was a lot going on I know but any help or sharing of similar stories is appreciated…mainly…how can I approach the subject without interfering with whatever his plan is!? THANK YOU!