(Closed) waiting bee, timeline vent.

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3619 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

What happens if he doesn’t propose?  SO and I have been talking about marriage for over a year (he asked my Dad for his blessing!). In February he relocated, 7000 miles away from where we lived. From the UK to Asia. We were LDR for 5 months and then I joined him.  We are not engaged.  We did talk about it, and he made a good point: what did I get from being engaged that I didn’t from being his girlfriend? If the answer is security then that doesn’t say much for our relationship. Neither of us see an engagment as a status, it’s merely a stepping stone to marriage.  Don’t get me wrong. I want him to propose, of course I do. But it’s not right right now. Relocating costs money for one, and it puts strain on the relationship. It took me a long time to get to this point, being okay with being his girlfriend. Ultimately though, we decided to move half way around the world together, what more commitment do I need? And there are plenty of married couples who wouldn’t do the same.

Best of luck with the move, engaged or not 🙂

Post # 4
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@ladyartichoke:  How did you move to where he was? Did you find a job on your own and get visas sorted through that? Also, am curious – did you feel like you had to make sacrifices in your career for him, and were you okay with that? Do you know an engagement is coming? I’m struggling with knowing I will probably have to make sacrifices in my career to be with my SO, and don’t know how I can do that with a happy heart if someone doesn’t want to marry me. Would appreciate any words of advice from you!

 

@hawk1: It might be worth considering what you’d have to give up to move to where he is and if you are willing to do that. If you feel like he might be proposing soon, maybe let him know you’ll be happy to move to where he is once you are engaged, whenever that may be.

Post # 5
Member
3619 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I wrote a similar post before he moved.  You can find it here, there was a lot of useful advice 🙂

Post # 6
Member
3619 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

@MariaW:  Yes he moved to Asia in Febrary and I moved in July. I applied for jobs before I got here but once I moved I found one in two and a half weeks. I am currently waiting fo the visa to come through (it’s been approved though). I get a tourist visa for 90 days and to renew it I just leave the country (which I had to for graduation last month). I admit I didn’t put my career on hold since I was fresh out of uni. The job market in Asia is much better than in the UK though so it’s a pretty good career move. I know the engagement is coming yes, he asked my Dad for his blessing in July 2011. I only found out when my Dad told me. SO and I have discussed it too. When the engagement comes is the question.  Honestly, it took time to become “ok” with the situation, but I love SO. We discussed that if I couldn’t get a job we would move back to the UK as well. It was a decision we made together rather than one he made and I went along with. I love our lifestyle here and I’ve only been here a few months.

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