Waiting bees who are not living together…

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

I would say HELL NO as a permanent solution. Are your kids coming with you to this new house? What about them? 

Post # 5
Member
3223 posts
Sugar bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Renting is not throwing away money.  It is paying to not have to worry about being a home owner.  There are loads of benefits. Your fridge breaks down, you don’t have to worry about getting a new one.  You just call the landlord.

Anyway, there are lots more benefits, and really anything is better then either staying in your current situation, or living with your MIL.  Both are nightmares.

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1931 posts
Buzzing bee

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Agreed! My mother-in-law wants us to build a house so SHE and his elderly, chronically ill grandmother (who he’s met once) can move in with us. She insisted that we ned to have a baby soon so that she can be our nanny. 

She likes to completely ignore the fact that we’re not having children, plus I had just turned 21

Post # 9
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We do not live together, and we curently both live with family. It is a block to taking it to the next level, since obviously when we’re married we’d want a place to live together. SO is hoping to move out some time in 2014 though.

Post # 10
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Hell to the no! I wouldn’t even want to live with my own parents after I was married. I understand taking in his mom if she was disabled, chronically ill, whatever. But I think being within driving distance is close enough to family. Tell him that you guys should buy your own separate plot of land to build a house.

Post # 11
Member
1241 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  I don’t live with my SO, but I’ve lived with my in-laws before and really, if you all respect each other’s space, it’s not that huge of a deal.

To the other question…our living situation is not holding up the ring situation since we both stated engagement comes first. He still lives at home, and while I have no problem moving into his home, I think he wants a place of his own. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Post # 12
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

@tiff-tiff-tiff: Forgot to add, I also didn’t want to live together until we’re engaged. So our current situation is that he bought a condo and we’re going to move in together by end of September, at which time he will have proposed or will propose very soon after depending on how long it takes to get the ring. I’m so excited! Personally, I think holding out on living together has given us something to look forward to. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
85 posts
Worker bee

I think you know what you want, and what the best thing to do is!  YOU agreeing to live there with his mom for a few years while you guys get your financial ducks in a row is a compromise.  No one should have to live with their parents forever.  Act like you are giving in by agreeing to that, and let him know that is the bottom line for you and that it will not be permanent for you.

Post # 16
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@tiff-tiff-tiff:  Yikes!!! I dated a man who was in a similar situation (only child, deceased father, very close to his mother, and living with her), and it turned out to be a deal-breaker for me. He was a complete mama’s boy, and refused to move out of her house (and it started affecting our relationship in all kinds of negative ways). We broke up over it, and I’m honestly glad – I never could have been happy as a third wheel in his mommy/son relationship! Good luck to you –  I would be very worried that once you build this addition to her house and move in, your man will never ever want to leave. You’re in a tough position!

 

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