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What an interesting question! I wonder how different everyone's answer will be.
I knew that I was officially waiting when we had been living together for a while and we had a conversation in which we set a firm timeline for when we want to be married by. Getting married went from an abstract concept to a very real thing, and I think that's when I started to get excited about getting engaged. According to some people we're pretty much engaged at this point, because we both have said to each other that we want to get married and we've worked out a timeline. FI has always dreamed about popping the question though, so for now we're roomies/SOs. :)
I know that some of the other bees on here think that waiting=impatience or obsession, but to me that isn't what it is at all. It's just a time period where he's saving for a ring and we're waiting for our lives to be in a better place for the next serious step. We've talked about it and it's pretty much a done deal, but that doesn't mean I don't have off days where I wish I could hurry up and get there already! That's why I love the bee, because I could never talk about that feeling IRL without it painting my SO in a bad light, which just isn't fair to him.
I'm not waiting any more, but I can remember becoming a waiting bee. We had not seriously discussed marriage, but alluded to it. We sort of danced around the topic by discussing the future with "lets" do this or that. Then a coworker got engaged (with a very sizable ring) and I remember feeling like, hey wait, I think I want to really be engaged and telling my bf "that's a good size!" as she showed us her ring. I knew I was definitely waiting cause I started day dreaming perfect proposals he could do too.. And when a twinge of jealousy ran through me when some else we knew would get engaged.
I realized I was a waiting bee when the FI started talking about kids.
What their names would be, how he hopes they like all the geeky stuff we do so we can share that as a family etc.
At one point I said to him: I just want you to know that I love you but you have been talking about kids but haven't mentioned getting married. I was born out of wedlock and your parents got married only because your mom was pregnant. I don't want to have a child out of wedlock or be pregnant when I get married.
He laughed and said that our being married was a given.
7 months later he proposed.
When I had already had "future talks" with my SO and got anxious everytime he had a surprise planned. Now I am sort of in a limbo as I know I am not ready yet- want to at least get into uni, and we both are not financially ready.
I considered myself "waiting" after we had talked about engagement and started to look at rings online and in the store. That was back in the fall and coincidentally, also when I joined Wedding Bee and started posting here with the other waiting bees. :)
I like the question, I'd never really thought about it before. In my case I didn't know until I found the site really. My SO brought up marriage Valentines day in 2010. He asked if he proposed what I would say and I told him yes. It's been many talks later but no official proposal yet. So a year later, out of mostly boredom and looking for a new hobby, I find all of these do it yourself things. They start me thinking about our wedding eventually and what we would both like. Gears started turning and I started making mental plans for the day lol. So I googled something wedding related found weddingbee and haven't really been able to move on from it, it's really a wonderful site! The wedding ideas kind of popped up out of no where a few weeks before Valentines day and every surprise, everything he says about the future I've been reading into it hoping it's coming soon... Within the year I'm thinking... Hoping :)
I was never really a waiting bee, but I think I considered myself waiting when we started going ring shopping. We picked out the ring together, so when we started shopping, I knew it was going to happen, but I didn't know when.
I decided I was officially waiting when we had talked about marriage and I knew my FI was looking at jewelry, and I had a pretty good hunch about when he'd propose. I don't think I was ever waiting in the sense that I was worried about it happening at all, though -- my FI isn't exactly sneaky.
I'd been waiting since a few months after we offically got together. We had been best friends for 4 years before we started dating. I think he actually got jealous when other people got engaged, and me watching Say Yes to The Dress everyday probably gave him a few hints haha! He talked about kids and buying houses, and i'm like "wooaah nelly, gotta put a ring on it first!"and he did !
I realized that I was a waiting bee when my sister told me. She told me that the beau is planning to buy a ring around Thanksgiving. It has been about 3 months since then and still no ring!
For me it was on our 3rd anniversary. I had kinda expected it then, talked to him about it, and found out he saw marriage as way off in the future, that he knew he wanted to spend his life with me but that he really hadn't thought about it yet. So I've been waiting officially for 9 and a half months.
When we decided to move in together I knew I'd just be waiting. I told him I wasn't going to live with anyone unless marriage was in the future. Now we've lived together over a year and I'm still waiting. lol
I guess it's kinda complicated for me. The first time SO ever mentioned marriage, we were only dating for a few months, and he said "I can see us getting married in a year." At that point, I really truly thought he would propose within a year. That didn't happen, but I don't remember feeling really disappointed or anything. I did continue to feel excited at the thought of getting married, and we'd joke here and there about going down to the courthouse. However, I started noticing him being more serious about it about last summer (after our 2 year anni) when he'd say things like "We're in this for good" or "We are going to get married" as if it was a fact. I have to say, though, that I really really started to feel like I'm waiting since around December when he mentioned to me casually that he had started looking at rings on his own. He had NEVER said anything like that before. I'm almost sure he hasn't actually bought a ring, but now at least I have reason to "hope" for it, right. :)
When we moved in and started talking about kids, moving to a new city, saving for a house....
now if he'd just get on with it! argh
We always talked about the future and I would openly talk about when rings I did and didn't like but I never considered myself a waiting bee until a few weeks ago. My SO mentioned that he is going to start saving for rings and we went and looked at some. Now I do consider myself waiting, sometimes it is easy and other times it drives me crazy.
After we moved into our house. We had settled into our life and i knew, something was missing. Where do i go from here? I started hating calling him my boyfriend since we had built a life together, and i started looking at rings more and more. When my best friend got married i had a total break down and he called me out on it. After that moment i have been completely waiting and every day its on my mind.
When I started reading the Bee. Lol I had no idea there was a term for it, I'd never really thought about it.
SO first brought up marriage last year at his sisters wedding, but our first serious talk about it was Christmas when he gave me my promise ring.
Sometimes I wonder if "waiting" is an appropriate term though. I don't really feel like I'm waiting for anything, when it happens it happens.
This is an interesting question! In some ways, I felt like a waitingbee for awhile. In my mind, I was pretty sure from rather early on that I could see us at some point getting married. For my birthday last July, he gave me a promise ring. My brother was married in October, which naturally spurred more wedding discussion between us. However, I didn't officially feel like a waitingbee until we recently got to the point where we mutually agreed that we didn't want to wait longer. I guess basically it just became more concrete, and we are making genuine plans- we bought a ring, etc.
When we went to look at rings together for the first time! Oh, and when SO and I sat down together in front of my parents and he told them about our intentions to get married =D
I don't know if we ever sat down and had the "hey, we're going to get engaged" talk but I think it just kind of evolved. We started talking about marriage, and then us getting married, and then our wedding and suddenly we were looking at rings and picking dates! It's been about a year since I labeled myself as "waiting."
Hmm... hard to say. I was waiting in a way when I started thinking about it, which was when we started making plans to live together and for our life together in the long term. When "forever" became part of our vocabulary, I felt more serious about occupying the waiting role, marriage was at some point brought into consideration, but due to a misunderstanding (on my part) I thought we shouldn't talk about it right away because he was undecided. When we did talk about it again, he told me he definately does want to get married (and obviously I already did too) and that's when I officially put myself on the waiting list. I figured I'd be waiting at least another year, give or take, possibly much longer. But he proposed about a week later, biggest shock ever! I guess I should have expected it given the straightforward nature of our relationship- if we both know it's what we want why wait? But wedding talks have (and still do) make me very nervous about putting him off, so I had put no expectations on getting engaged soon. I couldn't be happier, and I got to be pleasantly surprised!
When my boyfriend and I went and looked at a ring in person at a store and I tried it on. We had been talking about it for weeks and then there we were. Looking into the starry eye of the ring that would engage us. Now I know a proposal is inevitable and near.
Hmmm I am not really too sure! Marriage has always been brought up in our relationship, right from the start, by both us and everyone around us! So its always just been there. I guess in our case, when you know you know - and everyone else did too!
I first came on Weddingbee after we bought our first house, but its this last year that I have really been 'waiting' because we have started putting some timelines to things!
We had talked about our future together for most of our relationship. So I didn't consider myself 'waiting' until FI wanted to start looking at rings together. I actually joined weddingbee because ring shopping had me all sorts of confused! Not about my relationship but about choosing a ring!
We dated back in 2007, had a break for a couple years while becoming best friends, then started dating again in 2010. By the time we had been together for a couple months this go, I knew I was waiting since we both knew we were in love, and had been, for the past two years apart. I feel like I'm really waiting now that he has one more ring payment left before he'll have it in his possession.
We talked about it alot... he asked me whether I believed in marriage on our 3rd date, so maybe he's the waiting one :-) But I didn't take him super seriously until recently when he took me ring shopping, put a deposit on my choice, and started a joint savings account with me for our future wedding (I've dated a few guys that dangle the idea of marriage but have no real intention). Don't know when the ring is coming, but I sure am looking forward to seeing it again.
A little after two years together I brought up getting engaged for the first time; he didn't want to yet and that's pretty much when I started waiting. Then a little after three years together he got me a promise ring and it was like more serious waiting and that's when I joined weddingbee. We've been together for a little over four years now.
I realized I was waiting when I got overexcited and mistakly took a birthday surprise he was planning as a proposal (I posted the whole story). We talked and decided to go through with it anyway and now I'm waiting for him to propose for real.
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I think this was asked before by another bee, but I am curious.
I told my boyfriend, my FI, that if he asked me to marry him, I would say yes. We always talked about getting married in a silly moment, though Im pretty sure I told him' Seriously, I will say yes if you ask me'. Anyway, months and a couple years go by and bam, he asked me. It blew my mind! I was completely and utterly surprised. I honestly didnt think he would ask. I wasn't waiting or expecting it! I never considered myself in the waiting mode at all.
So that got me curious. When did you realize that you were waiting? The first time you and your boyfriend discussed marriege? The longer you were together? When?