Waiting blues!

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My experiences might not be too helpful, but hopefully I can give you some perspective.  So your dynamic is actually happening with me and my mother.  My SO and I have been off and on for 13 years, I never pressured him about marriage and although it would be great if we got married earlier, I would have been ok with staying together unmarried indefinitely.  Anyway, he unexpectedly asked for my parents’ blessing last month!  My dad, ecstatic, blabbed to me right away  and my mother and I could not help but start “wedding planning” right away.  I am the only daughter and my mother had a horrible experience with my brother’s wedding a few years ago (we are the only kids).

I would send her lists of venues and her and my dad would drive around town checking them out (wedding would be in hometown and  now I live out of state, parents are retired and bored). We would discuss guest lists and every thing else (yes, it’s been a very productive month).  However, I am not officially engaged yet; we have not involved SO with much of this “wedding planning” which does not seem right because it would be his wedding too; this hypothetical wedding is starting to get really expensive; and my mom is already controlling the “hypothetical” wedding, pressuring me to book a venue and make decisions already.  Every freaking conversation is about the wedding. So I do get snappy with her.  She gets totally confused and does not understand why I’m willing to talk about it so much, but will apparently snap at her out of the blue for being just as excited about the wedding.  Yes, I am very excited about the wedding and cannot help talking about it, but once the talking starts, it will dawn on me on how too involved I am with a wedding that is still hypothetical (in the sense that I am not officially engaged yet and cannot set a date or make any real decisions yet).  I just feel ridiculous.  I love my mother and appreciate her help, love, and excitement for me, but yeah, we need to slow down.  Maybe your bf is going through the same thought processes as me, somewhat.  It is not fair to you (or my mother), but we cannot help it.  Good luck!

Post # 3
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

I secretly getting my fix being on wedding bee! Other than that I think about other things I need to do to improve my life and things I’m interested in learning/doing. It helps until you see someone getting engaged on social media (so I try to stay off facebook) or some mushy movie. Also I try to avoid watching wedding shows, no matter how hard it is.

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