waiting feels not so good at times

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Alright.. My other half also did not like talking about it. He was previously married and she pressured him into it and they ended up at the JP. So I understood that he wanted me to never see it coming and he didn’t want it to be like his first marriage. And I totally respected that.

He proposed right before we hit being together a year and a half. A few months before that I had dropped subtle hints. He reciprocated with a few things that made me think it was coming within the year. We already have a house together and so it felt like we should be because I moved my whole life into this house to spend forever with him. But there was no ring.

He had my ring custom made in March and I didn’t get until end of May because he was waiting for the perfect moment. And boy it was the perfect moment, I am so glad he waited because anything else couldn’t have been as perfect.

So while I was getting frusterated a few months before he did because I felt like we were living like we were engaged/married, I knew badgering him was not the way to go. Men have their own timing.

HOWEVER, if he’s never going to do it.. then get out. If marriage it the end result you want and he doesn’t want to get married, then I’m not sure he’s the man for you. But it really doesn’t seem that way. He was willing to look at rings and he is willing to talk about it. But my FI was the same way (maybe for other reasons). Give him time. If you love him that much, he’s worth it and worth the wait.


Post # 4
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

sorry that it has been sort of a waiting roller coaster for you.

men can be very emotional at times, and one day he might feel “ready” and the next day he might be unsure.

patience is HARD! in my opinion, being engaged 2-3 years into dating isn’t that long to wait. if i were you, i would definitely wait until the 6 month time frame, and then some. if you love him, and want to marry him you should be willing to make sure he isn’t pressured into a marriage.

i think it IS important to draw a line to a certain extent. but as hard as it may be, maybe try to ignore the timeframe around everything, and just enjoy your relationship. i personally would never walk away from a relationship based on a timeline.



Post # 5
80 posts
Worker bee

You have to ask yourself: Would you still want to be with him even if you never got married? Are you in love with the idea of having a marriage, or just a wedding? It sounds like besides the engagement issue, your relationship is solid.

I completely understand the desire to solidify the relationship with marriage, but if that is taken off the table, would you still want to spend the rest of your life with him? If he is completely committed to you but simply opposed to the idea of marriage, you have to decide by yourself whether or not what he can offer you is enough. If not, you may want to consider moving on.

Post # 6
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  it is obvious that this guy loves you. Even though he is under the impression that he was given an ultimatum he is still willing to marry you.


I think that you should release him from the 6 months timeline and start doing things that you love with or without him. It will make time passby quickly. The proposal will come. I honestly think that u should at least give him a year without him knowing.

I do believe that you shouldn’t stay in a relationship if your SO and you don’t share the same goals. If it isn’t going anywhere, you should leave. In your case, the relationship is still remotely fresh so you can still give it more time. Plus your SO and you both share the same goal.

Post # 7
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  i know it can be very anxiety provoking just wondering when the time will come, but my advice to you would be to give him the six months. You were verbal about your feelings and have already let him know how you felt. It is up to him to decide from there! I hope that helped! 

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