- 7 years ago
I’m new here. I stumbled across this site and let me tell you it’s been a blessing. I thought I was the only one out there playing the waiting game until I found this. I’m so glad there is a place where women like me can come together and share our stories.
Here’s my sad, frustrating, I-can’t-take-it-anymore story:
My bf and I have been together 10 years. We met when he was 21 and I was 22. At this age I never really thought about getting married since I felt we were too young and I pictured getting married in my late 20’s. Anyway, I’m really happy to have found him since I he’s exactly what I’ve always wanted in a partner. Well the years went on and our late 20’s arrived. I started to bring up getting engaged and he told me he wanted to finish school first. Valid reason, so I dropped it. He graduated from college and I brought it up again. He told me he wanted to find a good job to have a nice wedding/buy me a nice ring. I said ok. He found a really good job. I brought it up again and we had a fight about it because he gave me another “valid reason”. I can’t remember what it was.
At one point we started talking about moving out, first we thought about renting but rents are so high that we decided we would rather buy a house. I told him I was fine with buying a house and moving out BUT I wanted to be engaged before I left my house (I come from a traditional family). He said he agreed. Well there we were house shopping and we finally found the “perfect” one for us. The deal was great so this was something we didn’t want to pass on. Now, all this time while looking at houses and finally finding “the one” I had the engagement in the back of my head. I kept wondering when he was going to do it. We signed the papers and the house was officially ours and still no proposal. I had to bring it up. I asked him if he remembered that I wanted to be engaged before I moved out of my house and he pretty much said he forgot. That the whole buying a house experience was so stressful that he just forgot. I was devasted! But I had to move in because the papers were signed and we had the keys. I know, stupid move on my part.
Fast forward to present day. I’m 32 he’s 31. He’s been working at his really good job for about 3.5 years now. We’ve been living together 1 year. We’ve never broken up in the 10 years we’ve been together. Throughout the years he’s asked me what type of ring I wanted, told me he’d like to have a beach wedding, has said he wants to get married and get married to me, has suggested both our families meet, has asked me if he needs to ask my dad first before he asks me. Anyway, I hope you get the point that he’s talked about it and mentioned it, but he hasn’t done anything about it!
I’ve told him in March that I’m starting to feel like he’s stringing me along and that he’s leading me on. I told him that if he doesn’t want these things with me he has to be honest with me and LET ME GO. He responded with the same things, he wants to get married and to me, he can’t see himself with anyone else, I want to get you a nice ring/have a nice wedding…blah blah blah.
I feel in my heart that he truly honestly loves me. I can feel it, I see it. I don’t think he would’ve spent his entire 20’s with me if he didn’t. He’s never told me he doesn’t want to get married. But all this talk and no action is just not setting in right with me.
I’m really scared, sad, angry and mostly frustrated. Frustrated because we have a great relationship and this issue is keeping me from being 100% happy. I want to have faith in that he will propose but it’s SO hard! I haven’t brought up anything about engagements or weddings since March but I’m ready to have another talk with him. Maybe I’m being blind and stupid and can’t see/tell if he’s being honest with me or just playing with me. I want to believe that’s the proposal is around the corner but don’t want to be disappointed.
Is he dragging his feet and needs more pushing? Or is this guy seriously just dragging me along as long as he can? Please help!
Thanks for reading…sigh 🙁