(Closed) Waiting for Pro pics for thank you notes- is this ok?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Gah, I didn’t even think about turnaround time. This was my plan.

I think you technically have a year…. I wouldn’t worry about it. :

Post # 4
14345 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@7-9-11bride:I’m running into the same issue too.  I got married the same weekend as you, and I have my Thank You notes written and I’m waiting for the pictures to print and include. I’m not too worried about the delay.  Can you ask your photog for a few pictures now that you can use for it, and give her more time for the rest of them?

Post # 5
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I waited for my pictures.  I think I had one person complain about it not being faster but most people said that they loved getting a picture of us so it was worth the wait to me.  The person that complained hadn’t been the ideal guest anyway so it didn’t bother me that they were frustrated.  I got them out in about two months though while waiting for pictures, getting them edited, waiting on the thank you cards to arrive, and sending them out.  We also had an issue where we were low on money and had to wait until a payday to buy postage.

In short though, I think it’s fine. 

Post # 6
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I got married the same day as you and decided I couldn’t wait that long.  I sent all of mine out about a week or two ago. 

Post # 6
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

I’m doing the same thing – hopefully I’ll have my pics by the end of this week. My Mother-In-Law has made a couple comments to Darling Husband as well about working on them or something. It’s like, yes I will get to it, I haven’t forgotten, so please don’t nag. If there are any guests out there that are seriously that concerned about getting a thank you from us, then they should get a hobby 🙂

If it makes you feel better, I was at a wedding on May 7th and haven’t gotten a thank you yet from that one – I am sure she is doing the same thing – waiting on photos. She’s definitely not the type to wait super-long to get something like this done. So I figure from the time I get hers, I have six weeks to get mine out 🙂

Post # 7
4 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

When I had my wedding the photographer told me that it would be 6-8 weeks as well. And of course, it took about 12 weeks to get the images back. I was on the fritz but no one else cared that they were so late. They knew it would take a little more time for something so personalized. You shouldnt worry about it. Laughing

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Post # 8
3264 posts
Sugar bee

@7-9-11bride: I think 3-4 months is quite a long time.  As a guest I don’t really care about getting a pro pic of the couple unless they are by BFF, in which case I will probably have brought my own camera and have pics. 

I would much prefer to be thanked promptly.

Post # 9
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I prefer to hear in a more timely manner just so I know my gift got there, as I don’t toss the receipt until I get a thank you.  I would think if I sent a check in June I’d have a Thank You by now.  

Save the pictures for Christmas cards.

Post # 10
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

i dont think it matters. when i get a Thank You card, i dont calculate how long its been. and looking back, i have no clue how long i waited for various thank you cards or if i even got them, lol.

Post # 11
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

For the cheques, yes it’s way too long. You should have written a note as soon as you recieved the money. You can always send a pic after the fact and simply say “thanks again” or email the pic.

But it really is too long to wait for the pre-wedding gifts. For the folks who attended I don’t think it’s too long to wait though.

Post # 12
1696 posts
Bumble bee

You do NOT “have a year”. The gold standard for thank-you notes is to write them on the same day that you receive the gift: this refers to thanks being extended for gifts that were properly sent to your home either in the weeks before your wedding, or the weeks following your honeymoon. GUESTS “have a year” to send a wedding present, but since presents are not required anyway, and since you are unlikely to send it back after a year just because it was “too late”, that deadline is moot anyway. It is mainly useful as a prod to us notoriously forgetful (or notoriously procrastinative) but well-meaning old bats.

For gifts brought to the wedding ceremony or reception itself, the givers deserve to have to wait for their thanks until you’ve had a chance to unpack and rewind after your honeymoon, and that can be expected to take several weeks. I think eight is pushing it, but you can probably get away with it. Of course, the gold standard for formal thank-you notes is that they should be written in black ink on your own personal “informal” card, not a photo-print. Sending people photos of yourself can come across as a teeny bit vain, and is a little reminiscent of the autographed photos that starlets used to send to their nameless fans. But nowadays most people like having the photo more than they like having impeccably correct little white notecards filled with lovely black handwriting, and photocards are so common that even us crusty old biddies are used to them. I’m utterly thrilled, of course, when someone does send a correct note, but I’m hardly going to be condemnatory of the in-correct practices that happen all the time.

As for thank-you-for-attending notes, those were invented just as an excuse to send out photocards. Etiquette does not require them (quite the other way around, in fact, etiquette requires the guests to write thank-you notes to the hostess.) So if you are sending that kind of thank-you note, you really should wait for the photo-card.

Post # 13
2742 posts
Sugar bee

@aspasia475: This has given me an idea. While waiting for our images (whoops, I am going to use them) what can I write the notes on? This will be for the special people who either flew from far away for us or got us gifts/checks. I can fill out the notes and then slip them into the Thank You card. Thanks.

Post # 14
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I did exactly that for my thank you cards, but I cut the time a little.  My photog posted a preview on facebook about 4 weeks after the wedding, and I emailed to ask him to send me full-sized copies of a couple pics, which I then used for the cards.  Overall I think we mailed out cards about 5 weeks after the wedding, which wasn’t bad at all.  I think 2 – 2 1/2 months isn’t the end of the world, though it would be nice if you could get started on them sooner.  However, designing the card and having them shipped only took about 4 days for me, so it shouldn’t be awful.

I’d also take this opportunity to get a Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so address stamp to use on the back of the envelopes.  I got mine on Amazon for $6 plus shipping.

Post # 15
95 posts
Worker bee

@andielovesj:  This.  Since thank you letters are supposed to go out ASAP after receiving a gift, I’d find it rude t not getting proper thanks until the couple gets professional photos back.  I couldn’t care less if it’s a thank you letter with a photo.  I’d be perfectly fine with normal stationery.  I’d actually prefer that because it does seem a little vain to wait to do what etiquette dictates so you can send something with your photo on it.

One poster indicated you have a year to send thank you notes.  That is incorrect.  You have a year window to send a present to the bride and groom after the wedding, certainly not a year to send prompt thank you notes to gift givers.


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