Waiting Impatiently

posted 1 week ago in Engagement
Post # 2
1076 posts
Bumble bee

Someone told me, ‘waiting is inevitable but waiting well is optional’. You’ve been assured it’s coming so focus on other things instead. Occupy and take captive of your mind.

Post # 4
64 posts
Worker bee

*raises hand* Yep, similar situation!

My BF has the ring and I’ve seen it and I’ve even tried it on for ~3 seconds (he wanted to make sure it fit so the proposal goes “perfectly” lol – he said it would suck to go to put the ring on and it doesn’t go on from being too small or it falls off from being too loose)

So I know it’s ~COMING SOON~ but right now 3 days of waiting can literally feel like a month 😩

His relative also passed away very recently who was way too young to go (33) and seeing all of that happen and how her husband is handling her passing has also made us very anxious to grab life by the horns and get engaged. But we also agree that the wait is necessary right now for us to take the time to mourn and additionally disassociate our engagement from his family’s current tragedy :/

(Doesn’t make waiting any easier though…)

Anyway before the whole ring thing, I WAS coping by just throwing myself into my hobbies and daily life with the knowledge that “it’ll happen when it happens” but now that I know it could be next month or two months or three from now…I’m coping by obsessing over wedding stuff and researching venues and details and – well – browsing this forum A LOT. That’s not really “coping” though lol!

Post # 6
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

jezamor :  So, FI has my ring stashed somewhere. We went to the jeweler together to buy the setting, consulted extensively about the center stone, I found the jeweler who’ll set the ring AND we’ve set a date.

TECHNICALLY, we’re still not engaged. He hasn’t officially proposed and wants to surprise me. Which I find HILARIOUS.

So, my best suggestion is Pinterest. Seriously. Don’t worry too much about the specific civil vs religious ceremony stuff, but look at ideas and start to narrow down what things appeal to you. Vanues, themes, color schemes, gowns… I’ve come across great ideas I would never have come up with on my own, and have found the whole process wildly entertaining in the meantime. 

Also, I’d recommend some kind of fitness/wellness goal to set yourself for the wedding. Even if you are in great shape and have a good routine underway, a plan to take extra good care of yourself will give you something other than waiting to focus on. Plus exercise or mindfulness are great ways to cope with the stress of wedding planning, and can help you feel calmer and more focused in the exciting days ahead.

Try not to let anticipation be the thief of joy. This is a beautiful thing on your horizon; let patience sweeten the moment all the more.

Post # 7
64 posts
Worker bee

jezamor :  Haha, yeah I’m just constantly thinking about the ring/proposal/engagement now after trying on the ring! It’s so gorgeous, my anticipation to wear it for forever is through the roof now!

 Our anniversary is also in August! Good luck to both of us for a proposal in the next month, eh? 😉

Also, I agree with teamroro! I don’t know about worrying about civil vs religious ceremony/venue and specifics like that at the moment, but there will be time to compromise after the proposal. As for me, I’m all about just browsing around what could potentially be both affordable AND appeals to me. Like after all my research thus far, I can safely conclude that my ideal place for a vanue/reception would be a botanical garden or atrium with LOTS of windows and greenery if at all possible for us once the REAL planning begins. Narrowing it all down and nitpicking specific places with my SO can come later though. Right now is like a fun frenzy of pinning posts on Pinterest and taking down notes of places/websites/ideas to consider without worry about logistics (like I just found out about cocomelody .com today and I’m definitely thinking I’ll check them out for a wedding dress in the future!) It’s a fun way just to pre-pre-pre-prepare for wedding planning without a lot of stress.

I second the fitness thing too! I just recently started working out consistently and doing hot yoga for pretty much like the first time in my life in the last couple months (lol) and going to a class definitely relaxes me and takes away some of the waiting anxiety/jitters at least for a little while. Bonus is that my mood has ridiculously improved and I’m losing weight for future engagement photos 😉

Post # 9
1076 posts
Bumble bee

jezamor :  life is definitely too short. Fitness does take your mind off waiting. I’m now hoping for August proposal too because he hasn’t yet paid final instalment on the ring so it won’t be ready for anniversary which is this Friday. I’m excited for you. 

Post # 10
95 posts
Worker bee

Wow! What an exciting time for all of you. I think I would go nuts knowing he has / will have the ring haha. I am in a slightly different but same situation. I am waiting but we haven’t looked at rings or discussed anything about when a proposal will be coming. And of course its hard when big holidays or anniversaries come up to not get your hopes up.

I am basically just trying to better myself in the mean time and keep my life chugging along. I don’t really know where he is at in his life timeline but for now I am going to leave him be until after our Cuba trip in 4 months. My main concentrations are going to be losing weight (I have quite a bit to lose) and picking out a few super cute bathing suits! 😛 Sometime after Cuba though, I will ask if he has thought about getting engaged and when I am not just sitting in limbo while he thinks about other things. 

Post # 11
166 posts
Blushing bee

Bee I’m in a similar boat. Just focus on other things and start trying to prepare yourself mentally for marriage as much as you can. Think about what areas you want to work on in your relationship and start putting it into action so you start off on the right foot.

Post # 12
10 posts

In the same waiting boat. I pretty much focus on my side hobbies to keep me busy, I also like to plan future travels with the SO. Its nice to have things to look foward to and get excited about 🙂


Post # 13
56 posts
Worker bee

In the same boat. My bf just got my e-ring about 2 weeks ago and I just can’t wait for the proposal! Normally I like surprises but in this case I want to know when he is planning to propose but he won’t tell me & normally he is terrible at keeping surprises. He keeps telling me how beautiful the ring came out which makes the wait even harder! He wanted to show it to me but I said I don’t want to see it unless he is officially proposing, lol. He said he already has planned when he is going to ask me. I tried to get him to give me a hint of the date range & he just said within the next 5 months. I am hoping it’s soon & we have a tripped planned in a month & a half to visit his family so I been wondering if that is when he is planning to do it. I hope so but even that feels like forever, lol. Since I know it is coming soon I been browsing online at dresses & wedding related things. I watch a lot of say yes to the dress, which I never used to watch before, lol. Also, been browsing the bee a lot & discovered I am not alone in the big wait. Nice to chat with fellow bees in the same boat and share experiences 🙂

Post # 14
74 posts
Worker bee

Ive been waiting since we browsed rings together more than 2 years ago. It’s been really hard waiting but it does get easier. The hardest days are when special occasions come around and my hopes get lifted… when nothing happens, that’s when it hurts a lot. We have annual planned vacations and one’s coming up soon. I hope it’s happening then. But then, I’m trying so hard to not think about it! 

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