Post # 1
I apologize if any of the following is Too Much Information. As some of you may know if you have read certain other posts of mine, my FH and I have committed to waiting until we’re married to have sex. It has always been hard, but it is only getting harder. To make matters worse, he is away visiting his family for 3-4 weeks. It’s only been 12 days and I’m going crazy, I want him so badly. I fantasize about sex with him all the time. I imagine it will be even harder when he comes back. I know 12 days isn’t that long, but we’ve never had to be apart for this long while we’ve been together, and I don’t know how I’m not going to tackle him and rip his clothes off the next time I see him, lol. If I even go 2 days without seeing him, everything he does the next time I see him makes me horny. We’re not getting married for another two years. We’ve been crazy attracted to each other since the day we met, and that was almost 3 years ago, so we’re more than halfway there, and we’re so proud and excited. Still, though, it really is getting harder and harder. Does anyone have anything that could help me feel better? 🙁
Post # 3
Stay strong, it will be totally worth it and an amazing lesson to teach your kids. Fiance & I are waiting too! 😀
Post # 4
@cubaneli: Congrats on waiting! I love finding other Bees who are also waiting. And yeah, I am so looking forward to teaching that lesson to our kids! 😀
Post # 5
why do you have to wait for another 2 years to get married? it just seems cruel. . .is there any way you could just get married sooner? of course I don’t know how old you are or anything.
it IS hard.
but i am also a big fan of being practical about it. as in, if you want to have sex, you are ready to get married, and you don’t believe God is directly commanding you to wait 2 years. . .well why not just get married? being engaged for much longer than the 7 months we were engaged, would have been torture. 🙂
edit: i just saw you are only 19. in that case, my advice is different. it’s still hard, but i agree it makes sense for you to wait. so. . .just pray, release that energy in other ways (running, yoga, whatever floats your boat). . .and btw, also remind yourself that when you do have sex it will not always be awesome. . .sometimes it may create more probems. . just try to enjoy this season of your life, you will look back on it and smile.
Post # 6
@NatAndTy: What about masturbation?
Post # 7
Yikes, just wanna wish you good luck lady! Darling Husband and I waited until we were married, but I found that once we were engaged it just got harder (for some weird reason — it was like we were committed to each other just not official yet??).
I would encourage you to use up some energy in other ways (exercise is awesome!), and do enjoy what you have right now! Darling Husband and I had some amazing make-out sessions during our engagement that never would happen now that we are married and can move on to other things…ahem. 🙂
This season of life is SOOO special and it only comes along once, so definitely enjoy it!
Post # 8
@hellorebecca: I was thinking the same thing. We would love to get married sooner, and we’ve known we wanted to get married since very early on in our relationship. We know my ultra-career-oriented family will probably be upset if we get married any younger than 25. I suppose that wouldn’t be a good enough reason on its own, but we also want to make sure we’re financially stable, and that will probably take 1-2 years from now. Thanks for all the great advice! I agree, long engagements seem torturous. 🙂
@Mrs. Puffin: I’ve tried, but I can’t seem to get it to work for me…at all. 🙁 I think FH is the only thing that can turn me on…but I think that’s good. 🙂
@wbninja: I’ve heard the same thing–that waiting gets harder once you’re engaged. I like what you said about the make-out sessions. 😛 They are amazing for us too. 🙂 Thanks for the advice!
Post # 9
Make each other strict boundaries and go over them together and agree/pray over them!
Don’t put yourselves in situations where temptations are easy 🙂 I know you miss him and its fun to fantascise but I doubt you will actually go for it- so no worries. You have made it this far ! Wahhoooo!!
I’m so thrilled to find others that are waiting as well. I’ve been in my relationship for about 3 years and Im now only a few months away from the big night 😉 ( I second that being engaged is rough and tough cause you so close you can taste it! )
I promise it will go by quick and it will totally bless your life!!!
Post # 10
@Eva Peron: Hooray! You’re so close! 😀 Congrats on waiting so long, and thanks for the encouragement again. 🙂
Post # 11
My fiance and I are also waiting, and just a few weeks ago he decided we need to do less, i.e., not even make out. I was NOT happy about this AT ALL (personally, I more agree with the comment about the amazing make-out sessions!!), but I have to admit that after the first week or so, I’ve noticed that it’s gotten a little bit easier desire-wise than when we were making out on a regular basis. What has most surprised me about waiting until marriage is that we have seen HUGE, totally unexpected benefits (that I wouldn’t have believed even if someone had told me), especially in the deepening of our trust and knowledge of each other, by staying abstinent. Reminding myself about how great it’s been, and will be, for our relationship long-term has helped a lot. I don’t envy your long engagement, though–we’ll have been engaged 9 mos. and that has been tough enough!!!!
Post # 12
@IcedCoffee: we did this too… the backing-off-the-making-out thing. And it did get easier after a couple weeks! Almost like weaning off an addictive substance gets easier after the initial withdrawal. FI’s kisses are my crack, ha ha.
Post # 13
My Fiance and I are also waiting… all I can say it hold on and hold out. I am a virgin and have never been so ready… I don’t know engagement has me on a totally different cloud now– but I know it won’t be a problem in waiting… except the fact that you have to wait. LOL
We are even waiting to share our first kiss until the wedding day. We got a lot of waiting going on. We simply speak to one another, shake hands, and give a quick hug. . . for now, but once we are married… Ride to reception, reception, and honeymoon here we come==== I do believe it is a blessing in waiting. You will have experiences to share with other young people IN THIS DAY AND TIME about how you waited. How it was not easy, but you did it. . . and you will be blessed because of it. I am so here to encourage you to wait. Everything will be okay pray about everything. Even this. God made your body and understands how you feel. Just pray tell Him how you told me… whats going on in your life… and how your body feels.
You may not want to put yourself in compromising positions either where you two are super alone and the moment could get right. . . you will know then that is the WRONG situation to be in. I wish you well and hope you hold on to hold out. It will be well worth it and your marriage will be blessed because of it.
Post # 14
My Fiance and I are also waiting till the wedding night (55days =D). it hasn’t been easy but we did cut back on making-out and we try not to do anything that will make the other one “horny. its not easy but with boundaries it possible.
Post # 15
Just wnated to check back in and see how you’re doing, NatAndTy… My Fiance and I waited, but we made sure to make it a short road to the altar 🙂 We started talking in May 2010, started dating in August 2010, got engaged in January 2011, and got married in September 2011… And that was a HARD wait for us! However, we were 21 and 23 when we got married – so a bit older 🙂 We didn’t kiss until 13 days before the wedding… In order to help us make it 🙂 And we had boundaries in kissing (no making out, etc…) because those things just get things moving 🙂
Anyways… Just wanted to pop in and encourage you in your waiting!! 🙂
Post # 16
@NatAndTy: There are a TON of things you can do with or without your partner that don’t invlove penis-vagina sex. I’m not sure of your particular situation and why you’ve chosen to wait (which is awesome, btw), but depending on what you consider “sex” and therefore whar is not allowed, there may be a few things you can do. Such as: masturbation (with or without toys- a friend of mine cannot get herself to climax without toys, so maybe that would help you fly solo; also with or with out fantasies or looking at photos [even completely non-sexual] of your partner [maybe just seeing him will turn you on]), mutual mastubation, oral, phone sex with or without masturbation, dry humping, heavy makeout sessions. If you and your Fiance consider those off limits, that’s totally cool, but it was just a few suggestions that might help out.