Post # 1
As someone who has been “waiting” for 18 months now, I know that my emotions can get the better of me and can cause some irrational feelings so I just want your feedback as to whether anyone else has been in a similar situation and felt the same way, or if I’m losing it J .
I posted a while ago about my best friend getting engaged. At first, I was a little disappointed that it wasn’t me, but I quickly got over that and showered her with love and congratulations. Now, before she was engaged, we were both in the “waiting” phase and would chat lots about getting engaged. We would vent our frustrations to one another, share any proposals hints our bfs may have indicated and chitchat about the excitement of a proposal etc…But now that she is engaged (6 weeks), she hasn’t asked me once about the “waiting”. All she wants to talk about is her wedding, her proposal etc.. Maybe I am being absolutely selfish but I though she would at least make mention in the last 6 weeks how I am still waiting, and ask how I am doing since she used to ask me nearly every day? It hurts my feelings a bit…
Is this overemotional / downright silly waiting behaviour?
Post # 3
I don’t think it’s silly. It’s your feelings. I am sure it’s hard to have a waiting buddy and then they are not “waiting” anymore. I definitely would help her and be a good friend about her planning and stuff, because when your day comes I am sure you will want her to be all happy and help you as well. If she is a really good friend, I would just tell her your feelings though (in a way that won’t offend her). If she is a good friend she will understand that you still need a little support now and then. Sorry you are going through this btw.
Post # 4
Same thing happened to me with a co-worker. We both were waiting and when it happened to her all she wanted to talk about was weddings and cakes and dresses. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed helping her but she never once asked me how I was feeling. It was a bummer.
I’d say find another “waiting buddy” or just confide in the hive! The hive helped me so much during my wait.
Post # 5
I’m totally there with you right now. I’m still “waiting” and bf got engaged a couple of months ago. Now all she wants to talk about is her wedding and wedding plans and never asks about me (when she has time to talk at all). I really am excited for her and all she’s going through and am happy she is getting married, but at the same time I feel like I’ve lost one of my best friends. Not to mention sometimes the green eyed monster of jelousy comes out a little bit and I’d like her to ask and get excited for me.
Post # 6
Ah, that sucks. I feel for you. That said, I would give her the benefit of the doubt, at least for a while longer. She might just feel awkward and not want to bring up the fact that you’re still waiting because she’s anxious about making you feel left out/even more impatient.
Don’t let it fester or continue to bug you, though. If she doesn’t go out of her way to ask how you’re doing, etc. in the next week or so, I would as gently as possible tell her that while you’re incredibly happy and excited for her, you feel sort of left behind and miss her support. Tell her you love hearing about her plans and her happiness, but that it’s sort of bittersweet since you’re still waiting, and that sometimes you feel like she doesn’t really care how you’re doing now that her wait is over. I’m sure once she knows that you want to talk about it things will go back to normal.
Hope your wait ends soon!
Post # 7
Wow, bees honestly you are the best!!!! You have no idea how happy these responses made me feel. Thank you soooo much. I am seriously going to start posting more on the boards and use this as my “waiting” forum. Also, I think S.H. pointed out a great approach to breachingh the subject should I feel the need to!!! xoxoxo Thanks so much!
Post # 8
Nope. But she’s in the wedding phase where everything is exciting and new. She’ll get stressed out soon.
My friends are probebly some of the worst since they are all married or soon to be married and now just constantly talk about babies (which I can’t have) so I’m probebly the most sensitive person on the planet right now. Waiting is just so damn hard!