Post # 1
Soooo where to start… my so and I have been together for just about 9 years and im really getting tired of waiting. 5 years ago we bought our first house and had a huge discussion about weddings and engagement. I got told it will be in another year since he wants to be financially stable. I totally understood that. So I waited. .. we went on numerous vacations and ended up moving due to jobs 3 years ago. We’ve talked so openly about weddings and how we plan to elope and just have a big party after. I am just getting so frustrated bc it always seems like there is an excuse. .. and if I hear the well now you mentioned it ill push it back another year. I know he loves me and wants to marry me… im just sad bc I want to spend the rest of my life withhim, but I feel like im missing this part of it…
sorry for the long rant
Update. We are both 30
This topic was modified 2 years, 5 months ago by desertkitty.
Post # 2
Girl! I know how your feel, I have been with my guy for 10yrs and moved in together 3 yrs ago and I am still waiting, I am 31 and he is 30. Honestly I didn’t mind waiting since we were traveling alot so for me it wasn’t an issue, but recently he started talking about wanting to have kids and I told him how as much as I love him I am not having children unless we are married. Since he wants to have kids in the next 2 or 3 yrs he decided we need to get engaged pretty soon since everyone says it takes about a year to plan a wedding. Plus he wants to start popping babies. I guess every man decides on his own. I just found out he already brought the ring, so your guy might be planning something without you even knowing it.
Post # 3
desertkitty: Have you spoken to him directly about this? Ask what his time line is and tell him what you were thinking and ask how you can come to a solution. It’s bs that you’re still waiting and letting excuses get in the way. If all signs are still a go (no red flags and you aren’t afraid of what he might say) then say something and be firm, asap. Otherwise I’m sure he’ll be happy to have you as the non-complaining gf forever 😉
Post # 4
I understand you girl ! We have been together for 10 years, and FINALLY got engaged 4 years ago. BUT it was just getting engaged ! Somehow my FI though engagement was different than asking to marry and said “It’s just to tell you I will ask you at some point !”… like a reservation ?!!!
Anyway, got tired of it and in the end… I did the big asking ! (Big romantic event, surprise and all).
Honeslty, there is never a good time ! Not enought money, trouble at work, new environnment, etc. Some people think it’s better to wait for when everything is perfect (like my FI), but I think we need to remind these people that it’s the journey together that is important !
Getting to perfection together and not getting together once everything is perfect…
Well that’s just my thoughts 😉
Post # 5
There will always be an excuse no matter how old you are, I guess I have learned when he is ready he will just do it even with the excuses.
Post # 6
How is he committed enough to buy a house together and be with you for 9 years- but he can’t sign a piece of paper? And you have to be financially stable or he wouldn’t be ok with taking so many vacations in the meantime. You need to sit him down and set a damn date.
Post # 7
i defenetly agree with @yupmarried i think the best thing to do in your situation is to comunicated with him. talk to him and tell him how you feel maybe he is scare to get married. a lot fo the times men can get scare about the idea of signing a piece of paper like many will think. some people dont need to get married in order to be happy.
lets just accept the fact that marriage is a part of life and even thoug im not big fan of it. after knowing my boyfriend wants to marry me, did got me very happy and now i look foward to it. maybe his not a fan of getting married problably for him is more important to be with you and maybe he doenst feel the need of taking that big step. so talk to him tell him how you feel. after he knows how you feel he will probly open up his heart and who knows what will be next; ask you the big question?