waiting, kind of?

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@giovanni19:  Hi there! Your story is really inspiring and one that I think a lot of girls (myself included) should look at, especially the part where you DID something for yourself – you got up and made some really exciting changes in your life. I wish I had considered doing that myself when I was in the ‘misery’ stages of the waiting game. Good for you! It sounds like the tide is turning for the better, and I hope everything works out for you. And as a little side note, i’m jealous that he’s got family in Hawaii..I went for the first time last year and it was SO AMAZING! I hope to go back next year. 

Post # 4
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

 

1.) I left and backpacked in South America by myself for 2 months this summer.

2.) I always felt that I needed to move somewhere where I didn’t know anyone before I settled down and got married- crazy, but hey I did it!

THIS!! Two VERY good reasons to not be frustrated he didn’t get his act together sooner

 

Post # 6
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee

@giovanni19:  Wow, this story is very inspiring to me! There are some things I’ve always wanted to do, but keep holding back on, and you’ve really inspired me to go after what I want in some ways. If the guy is worth it, he’ll make it work, and I’m glad yours has.

I don’t think it’s a terrible thing that he was unsure or that it took a change to shake him up and make him realize what he wants. I think it’s common to hear that people take what they have for granted and don’t realize that what they wanted all along was right in front of them until it’s gone.

Post # 7
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

@giovanni19:  it’s good that you took some control back! I was in Oahu and Kona. I loved both islands but I think the Big Island was to die for with the volcano and black sand beaches! Hoping to go back next year, maybe for a destination wedding/honeymoon!  

Post # 8
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@giovanni19:  awesome post!

My SO and I do not live together but my current living conditions (with my family) have recently became undersiable. I mentioned to my SO that we should get ourselves together so we could get married and live together (this is not the only reason but it was the topic in that conversation). He told me that he doesn’t see the point in rushing things. I didn’t take offense because I understood his reasons. I eventually told him that with or without him I (and our 2 kids) will be moving next year.

Lo and behold, he jumped on board with my plans after he realized that I was not going to wait on him. That took about 2-3 weeks. Right now, he is more excited about moving telling me that New Years will meet him living in our house. He even told me that he wants to get married early next year. That last part scared me at first but right now I’m all for it! I’m still waiting on that proposal though but that doesn’t mean that it is going to stall my life waiting on it.

Post # 9
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off CONGRATULATIONS on your impending Engagement !!

Second… as an Oldtimer (I am over 50) your words echo those I’ve been saying here on WBee since the day I arrived.

Men and women think about relationships differently.

Men are Hunters, and Women are Gathers.  We are detail oriented, they are bigger picture people.  It is part of our nature.

Men not only LIKE the chase, they NEED the chase.  It feeds their psyche and gets their whole self (head, heart and lust generator) engaged.

When a woman is too available, there is no pursuit for them… lol, as another Bee said recently… no guy wants to bring home road-kill.

Men like confident, strong, motivated women.  We need to be that BOTH for ourselves and for them.

And when we are it for ourselves all the better, cause it makes us better people for US and means we also “accidently” make it so we attract a higher quality of man.

Your going to SA is classic… it is right on the money with how guys think… it is what you’ll find prescribed here on WBee in “Mr Bee’s Plan”… but also in Relationship Expert Books like Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You”… or Dr Phil’s “Love Smart”.

All written from a guys point of view on how they see the world work, and what draws them into love, and makes a woman worth pursuing… and quickly so, before some other Hunter (guy) sees her value and gets in hot pursuit to win her.

Again, CONGRATULATIONS… sounds like you are going to have a great life.

— — —

PS… Remember these lessons you’ve learned for the future too.  Not that you have to play games in a Marriage (I’d never advise that).  You can certainly be 100% genuine… BUT remember how to motivate a man.  Plan Date Nights, and make things special for him… if he takes you out to dinner, dress up FOR HIM (think about what it is like when you are Dating and you think all day about what to wear etc).  KEEP DOING THAT at least some of the time (not saying it has to be every time…).  Stay busy.  Have your own friends & interests.  And oh ya, the one thing everyone wants, man or woman… to be wanted & appreciated.  Make time for one another.  Make time for laughter.  Make time for sex.  And be grateful for each other… say THANK YOU.  Infact say Thank You a lot.  Men love it when women say thank you.  “Thank You Honey” are golden words that can keep a marriage alive, vibrant… and even afloat in the rough patches.

PPS… Send me a PM when you get engaged, I’m very anxious to follow your Love Story some more.

 

Post # 10
Member
271 posts
Helper bee

you’re so brave. really admire you 🙂

Post # 12
Member
6880 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

@This Time Round:  Just wanted to say I love reading you posts and you give the best advice! You should be a blogger for the site!! DO IT!

Post # 14
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

TO @giovanni19:  you said…

He emailed me every single day when I was in South America.

Lol, nothing so great / sweet as when the Love Bug has bitten… and they are “smitten”

 

Post # 15
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee

@giovanni19: 

 After 9 months of being miserable and getting so sick of hearing “I don’t know” I finally DID something.  I didn’t pressure him, no ultimatums, I didn’t cry or threaten or scream.

I left and backpacked in South America by myself for 2 months this summer 

AND

I accepted a better job in more exciting city 500 miles away.


Bravo, girl! BRAVO! (applause, applause)

I like your spunk!

 

 

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