Post # 1
Waiting lows. We all get them during the waiting cycle / phases. Well, today I’m having a mini pity party. This is my only outlet to vent, which is what I love about the acceptance on the Waiting Boards.
My 2 best friends both got engaged within a month of each other. I am in both of their coming weddings and am very happy for them. Both proposals were expected, albeit not this soon. I’ve gone through my waiting bee mini grieving phases with both of their engagement announcements, and had moved on…or so I thought.
This week they both booked their venues. And it’s hard. Unfortunately, we have similar taste it seems, so I feel like I’m watching my dream wedding played out before me and taken away from me…twice. Their weddings are in my “dream” months…now effectively off limits if I do get engaged soon, because they both picked mid-month dates that are bookended by holidays making the other available Saturdays a no go. They both picked gorgeous indoor / outdoor venues that are exactly my style. Their colors, their decor, etc….all things I would have considered myself.
Heck, one of them even has my dream engagement ring — which I helped her FI pick out for her.
I know it’s juvenile and petty, but it’s hard to be so close to it and so involved (but yet so far, from a personal perspective as a waiting bee). one of them actually didn’t even meet her FI until AFTER i became a waiting bee. Sometimes it feels like the longer my already 2.5 year career as a waiting bee (out of a 6 year relationship) drags on, the harder and more miserable it gets, even though theoretically i’m closer to the finish line.
and yes, I know it’s just a day, and i can do things however I want whether or not they’ve been done before. I just feel like a hand me down, or the last kid picked for dodgeball, you know?
thanks for listening, bees.
Post # 3
@imsandradee: I know how you feel. It’s almost a cycle that you go through where the tension builds up, then goes down. It’s especially hard to see your friends doing so well and moving forward in their lives, while you feel like you’re stuck in a phase– I am in a 10 year relationship, so I feel you.
just remember you can have a beautiful wedding almost any time of the year. Obviously less so if you want a beach wedding or a snowy wedding or something dependent on a season. It helps me to try to see the beauty in all months so that I don’t feel upset that maybe a friend took my “month” or venue. feel better!
Post # 4
Its ok to feel what you’re feeling. I know its hard, and we all have crappy days. I am having one myself, though for different reasons. Just know you aren’t alone!
Post # 5
Just remember the positives of your relationship and know one day it will be your turn
Post # 6
@imsandradee: Waiting blows. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to see this all play out with two of your best friends. I don’t know how I would be handling it if I were you, so kudos for keeping it together! On the bright side, you can take notes on what doesn’t go so well for them so your day will be extra perfect when it rolls around!
Post # 7
That’s rough, seeing your wedding on someone else. You could think of it as a rehersal for your own. If you like their caterer or band, you could keep that in mind for your own. If the venue screws something up, at least it wasn’t during your wedding, and you can make a note not to use them. Maybe something you thought you’d love won’t come out the way you thought it would, so you can avoid that mistake. When your friends are married, they’ll probably have to off-load their table runners or candelabras, so you can snatch them up for pittance.
I never envisioned a big white dress or church ceremony for my wedding. I always pictured running away to Las Vegas to get hitched on a whim, but then my mother went and did that for her second marriage. Then I thought, well, maybe a courthouse wedding could be the way to go. I found out that my SO and his ex-wife got married in the courthouse and didn’t even have rings, so that was out, too. Now I think a secret wedding just before jaunting off on a exotic honeymoon might be pretty cool.