- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2014
I’d like to apologize in advance for the novel I’m about to write. I’m a first-time poster in need of opinions!
A few weeks ago, while diving around in search of dinner in the country, we passed a gorgeous hillside, when out of nowhere, SO commented on how he’d love to get married somewhere like that. Later that evening, after a few drinks, he said, “Give me three months and I’ll put a ring on that finger!” Of course, that really got me going! I started researching rings and went to a few different jewelers to find out what I liked.
My birthday was coming up soon, and when he asked what I wanted, I took the opportunity to send him a link to a gorgeous ring I’d found online, along with a cutesy I’m-kind-of-joking-but-not-really text message. The response I got back was “No.” Nothing else, just no.
Laying in bed later that night, it came up that the ring I had sent him was a CZ ring; he didn’t seem keen on the idea of it. I explained to him my reasoning behind the preference, including the fact that I didn’t want him to have to choose between buying the new car he’s been saving for, or buying me a ring. He made a noise that almost sounded like a scoff and asked me how soon I thought this whole engagement thing was going to happen. I was so shocked and upset by the comment I didn’t know what to say.
Over the weekend, his best friend, friend’s SO, and their baby came to visit. As things were winding down that evening, and yes, after a few drinks, I overheard him talking to his buddy, telling him about the link I’d sent. He told his friend he had the money and could afford the ring right now, but his friend shot down the ring based on the cost of it, saying, “our girls are worth so much more than that.” I stopped listening at that point. That night I was talking to his friend’s SO about how she had heard the same conversation. She also said that my SO doesn’t want me to have any idea when or how a proposal is going to happen, and will try to throw me off as much as possible. It makes sense, but he sounds sincere when he says he’s not quite ready. Especially when just today we had a conversation about how he’s not ready and wants to get things in order (ie car, house, career, etc) before marriage. I am totally confused about if he is ready or not to take the step. I don’t want to come off to him as naggy or pushy by continuing to bring it up, as he’s a little shy when it comes to talking about serious, important subjects, but I’m dying to know! I feel like the thought of it is totally consuming my brain and I’m driving myself crazy obsessing about it.
Does it sound to you bees as if he’s ready and trying to throw me off, or not quite there yet, but likes the idea? Or maybe just after a few drinks he’s more confident in the idea? I can’t figure it out.