Post # 1
From another thread- I got this idea that we should compose and organize the different waiting stages for the men so that we could understand what they are going through – OF COURSE, if there are any men on the board, please help us out and explain for us, help us organize.
Using my situation as an example-
1- was the lovey dovey (new relationship) I am going to marry you, playfully speaking
2- cold feet about reality- what is the rush, understanding that I really want this and having to make a decision whether or not he does also
3- starting to warm up to the marriage idea; teasing, buying other jewelry/rings but not THE ring, ring window shopping
4- (current stage for me) completely on board and finally ready to do it, excited about it- planning on buying ring/ bought ring, talked to family/friend about it, planning wedding with me seriously, now looking at wedding shows also and wanting to attend more weddings
I think I will have to go through-
5- I have the ring- now how do I do it
6- today is the day (I am hoping these last two stages move by quickly)
Post # 3
Mine was a bit different…in the beginning, didn’t even want a relationship at all. Then realized he liked me and didn’t want to stop seeing me. Was very cautious in the beginning after being hurt in the past, and took a while to say ‘i love you’. Once he did fall for me, he was very sure of what he wanted from me. it was only a matter of the right time for him to propose (in his mind) I guess it depends on the guy?
Post # 4
My guy is an odd one. 🙂 When we started dating, we were very serious that it would be long-term. He was so excited to have me in his life and talked of the future in terms of “we” and “ours.” Then as our relationship got pretty serious, I’d say he got cold feet. He got nervous that he’d lose his freedom, his friends, his life (lol) if he were to make a commitment to me. I also think he is nervous that he wouldn’t meet my family’s expectations.
Another odd thing about my SO is that he didn’t want to say the L word to anyone but the girl he would marry. He said it to me after 15+ months of dating and then suddenly we began talking about marriage, engagements, etc. We plan to get engaged next year and married a year after that, after I finish my PhD.
So to summarize, 1) Lovey-dovey, 2) cold feet, and then 3) sudden acceptance of marriage, but we’re not done yet.