- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I’ve had baby fever for years, always wanted to be a mum, but also wanted to do it “right” – get married first, be as ready as you can be etc and I was so sure that post wedding I’d want to just enjoy being wedding planning free and not think about the future for a while. But the closer we get to the point where we have kids the harder baby fever hits.
DH wants to wait a year, and truth be told, I want to wait to, I know that its right for us to just get a new normality before we settle down and I kind of like having the next 12 months or so to be care-free a bit longer and maybe enjoy one more wild summer. I know you can do fun things after you have kids but yeah I do like my freedom too.
Aside from wanting a year before we start trying for selfish reasons, we also aren’t in the best place financially. We have some debt we’d like to pay off and while we don’t struggle per sa, we don’t have a lot left at the end of the month once the rent, bills, general outgoing and debt instalments are made so it would be incredibly stressful, not to mention irresponsible to consider bringing a child into our world when we don’t have the means to afford one. Effectively we are doing exactly what we should do before hand, pay of debt and then build up some savings then it means we can be as prepared as we can be for the journey ahead. I grew up very poor and would be gutted if I gave that same childhood to my own children.
So anyway to the end of this, sorry it’s so long! Has anyone ever considered not having children because of the financial aspect even though they did really want children? I know they say “If you wait until you’re financially ready you never would” but I do believe in a certain degree of responsibility to create a good foundation for having kids even if you’re not loaded. I do some times think, if we didn’t ever have kids our future would be so much easier and I wouldn’t have to worry so much about our finances etc. I feel a sense of relief almost at not having kids, but then this goes against the very maternal feeing I’ve always felt! I’m so confused.
Thoughts? Or have I just waffled on for too long! 🙂