(Closed) Waiting Vent!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 4
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I know it’s hard..but just try to keep calm! My FI was getting annoyed by all my bugging, and it definitely put a hamper on his plans to propose. He still did, but I could tell it was done (a teeny-tiny bit) to shut me up, unfortunately.

You only have 3 more days, why so anxious? If it happens- great! And if it doesn’t- thats alright, too. I also don’t really understand why you’re frustrated if you’re pretty sure it’s going to be happening..? Maybe I didn’t catch something.

Post # 5
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I feel like I bring this topic a lot too…and it just leads to frustration! After thinking about it and reading a bunch of the “waiting” board posts, I’ve come to the conclusion that guys usually propose when they don’t feel like they’re being forced to. My boyfriend told me that when he does propose, he wants it to be a surprise, and I don’t want to feel like I “made” him do it.

However, in some cases..like when the guy is financially stable and have no excuse not to get the show on the road..I don’t really see a problem in letting them know how you feel! It just kinda depends I guess.

Let us know what happens in a couple days! I’m rootin for ya! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I know unsolicited advice is generally not a good idea, so feel free to ignore this completely.

Basically, has he said anything that shows he understands how important the surprise element is to you? (I know sometimes I’ll say something to my boyfriend and assume he completely understood, and then a couple of months later I’ll bring it up and he has no memory of me ever saying that.) My guess is that he didn’t get that when you said it, and he really wants to get it right. I’m sure you don’t feel like it, but maybe a little ego-stroking would be in order, about how you’re sure he’ll get it right no matter what? Maybe even look at it like he’s trying to include you, but let him know that you want something different.

I don’t know if that’s any help–my perspective is a little weird because my SO is adamant that a proposal is a surprise, right down to the ring… and I feel really weird and left out about that, so I can see how some women would want their SOs to be doing exactly what yours is doing. But what you want is a surprise, which isn’t a problem except that he doesn’t understand that.

Or hey, maybe he’s just trying to throw you off? Wink

Post # 9
Member
2894 posts
Sugar bee

@LadySapphire: If you really feel that strongly about him not proposing on V-day, I’d just tell him. It’s your one proposal day. If you really don’t want to have it on one particular day, then tell him. He has 364 other days to choose from. But then again, maybe having something as wonderful as this happen on a day that you haven’t had a great relationship with will turn the tables and give you a reason to like it. 

Post # 10
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Guys want to do it on their terms I would not ask him to not do it on Vday if he is planning on it, Its a proposal he has obviously thought about himself and I would just let it happen.

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