Waiting was fun now it's getting depressing.

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015 - Golf Course

@HappyK: I’m really sorry to hear all that 🙁 I don’t really have much advice, I’m sure others will, but just wanted to say that I hope things get better for you and that you guys can work things out! 

Post # 4
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@HappyK:  I think women have a premonition that having babies after 30 is dangerous.  I have learned from other bees on here that it is just as safer, maybe safer.  If you are ready, then what is SO waiting for?  I wouldn’t recommend presurring him, but you shouldn’t feel like you need to be pregnant in one year if you want to be married first, that would be tough. 

Post # 5
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I understand why you’re upset. You had a timeframe and guidelines in mind, and thought he agreed and was on the same page… come to find out, he’s not. It sucks, but if you love him you shouldn’t be feeling depressed. 

At least he is being open and honest with you. 30 isn’t old by any means and 2 years dating isn’t so long to the point of you being fed up. He did say 2014 is going to be the year…you have 365 more days! 

Post # 8
Member
1251 posts
Bumble bee

@HappyK:  If he said 2014 is the year, then don’t be too hard on him. It appears his mind was already made up. Under pressure a guy (or girl) can change his mind or delay because he feels he is being forced (not by you per se, but by the comments made).

Post # 10
Member
73 posts
Worker bee

How awful! I’m sorry to hear that! 🙁 but I think you’re right. You shouldn’t wait to have kids. My mom was 30 when she had me and she regrets it. (I’m the oldest of my siblings.) She hates being so much older than me and she’s scared she won’t be there for many of mine and my younger siblings events.

Post # 11
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@ayirk723:  I don’t think 30 is too old. However, by her timeline it is. If they get married when she is 30/31, then she might not be able to have kids for a few years/not enjoy the marriage for long before they start TTC.

 

@HappyK:   OP, I totally understand your frustration. However, marriage shouldn’t be rushed and it sounds like your SO is just not ready at all. What this means for your relationship… I don’t know. What I DO know, is that you’re going to be much happier being married to someone that 100% was sure (even if it means have kids later) than if you rush the marriage and start TTC too soon. 

 

Post # 12
Member
234 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@HappyK:  Good to hear this – you can ignore my previous comment haha. Good luck with everything!!

Post # 13
Member
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@HappyK:  my advice would be not to move in without the commitment. I am happily engaged now but I think moving in elongated my wait. He was happy- he got everything and lived like a married couple already- why rush to change it? I realized that even though we loved living together there was no motivation ( ie. we want to move in so he needs to propose first) so I feel I waited a year longer than necessary. Good luck!

Post # 15
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@HappyK:  I’m happy to hear your updates!!!  Sounds like everything is on track, congrats!

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