- 4 years ago
My SO brought up getting married last August. We discussed a budget and he said he needed time to save up the money. He said that it all could happen sooner rather then later and was a ready for that? In order to give me the wedding I wanted (his words) he need some time and proposed we get married in April. The church has been booked and a reception site as well.
His ony request was that he did not want to propose until he had the money to get the ring, and he did not want my family to know until he could do it the proper way. he said he wanted the romance and the surprise.
Well, that’s all well and good but it’s now January and still no official proposal. We’ve talked at least three times where I’ve brought up the fact that if we’re doing a DIY wedding I need time to pull my resources together (ie, my family, friends) and arrange everything. But times just ticks away. He apologizes and knows he’s let it go too long and that he’ll make it right, and yet nothing happens. Finally he said that all would be well and I could send save the date cards (all of which I hand made and are addressed and ready to be mailed) on Jan 1st. But then something came up at work and he was unable to fly up (we are long distance). So no proposal.
Are next appointment with the minister is on the 18th and he will be flying up for that, he said it will be taken care of before we see her.
Back in August when we firs spoke of getting married, we had had a vacation planned for the end of the month to Hawaii. EVERYONE, and I mean everyone assumed he would propose to me there and upon returning everyone asked to see the ring….it was a bit dissapointing. The holidays have come and gone. I’ve spent every visit since August giddy with excitement thinking it was coming and the disapontment when I drop him off at the airport with nothing happening. I don’t think there’s anything he could do to surprise me at this point, and I’m so frustrated anything now would be anti-climatic,
I’ve brought up changing the date, eloping…and he’s opposed. I’ve even discussed maybe holding off on marriage and again he says he’s ready. But I have no idea how I”m to plan a wedding, pack up my house, create a job for my in a new state, prep my house and get it ready to rent out all by April 13th. It’s unrealistic and I”m already stressed out.
This isn’t how I envisioned it, and yet in the beginning this was all about giving me the wedding I wanted. this isn’t what I wanted. I’ve become a nag and I hate it, but the wedding date is firm since he will entertain nothing else. And no matter how many times he says he will help and for me not to stress, realistically he is 1500 miles away, this is and will fall squarely on my shoulders.
I’ve feel like I’ve ruined everything and the romance and joy is gone, but I don’t know what else to do. He did tell me to just send out the save the date cards if I wanted to keep our timeline….but I didn’t, that would just lead to my family calling and asking about the proposal of which there is none, and my mother finding out by a save the date card rather than the news of a happy engagement. It just feels wrong.
Thank you for letting me vent.