Post # 1
It is really hard for any waiting bee to go through wedding season. I feel like being in the south doesn’t help my case much. I constantly see young girls (undergraduate, age 21-22) getting engaged and it is hard for me. It is even harder knowing that one of my little sister’s friend (who is 22) has been divorced already. She said that to her, her engagement was a fun experience that felt more like dressing up. WTF?!?!? Any bees in a similar situation? 🙁
Post # 2
exoticchic: Well I’m not in the bible belt, but I’m sort of in the south. Enough so that young engagements and babies popping out under 22 isn’t unusual in the least. I just got engaged and I’ll be 25 in May. I also work with military people so I’ve seen my fair share of 18 & 19 year olds who just got married before the boy was deployed. My boss was married at like 20 & divorced a few years later.
How old are you? My only advice is to think about how much more established & independent you are than most of them. So many of the people I know who are engaged or married by now either never left their hometown, never went to/graduated from college, never lived more than 10 minutes away from their parents, didn’t mean to get pregnant and as a result got married or engaged, or really have no big goals in life other than being a wife and mom.
If you aren’t any of those things, it’s an easy way to not worry about what others are doing.
Post # 3
I understand. I’m only twenty-three and all of the women in my circle either are married or will be by the end of this year. I know its so strange but I sometimes imagine how great it’d be if we lived out on the west coast or somewhere else where the status of my left ring finger isn’t the most important fact about me.
Southern culture can be a bit marriage obsessed, no matter what the age. When my mother divorced my father in her late 40’s, it was a matter of weeks when people started asking her if she was dating again. Jokes on them because almost a decade later my mom is still single and happy as a clam about and a lot of women can’t comprehend it and clutch their pearls when my mom laughs them off.
The thing that has worked best for me is helping plan a wedding, ironically enough. My bff and my SO’s sister are getting married soon, and watching them deal with everyone’s constant demands and opinions and problems has put it in perspective. Plus I’m more confident in myself and the ringless status of my relationship atm, so when someone makes a snarky comment about why I’m not married I match their snark and raise them a lets dance bitch, so I’m getting better at making rude people stfu.
Post # 4
southsun: I am blessed. I have never dealt with rude people come to me with statements like that. It would be even harder for me to deal if that happened.
I think I need an instagram break. It’s so obnoxious to see “My little’s engaged!” and “I can’t believe I’m getting married! We just bought a house”.
Post # 5
soontobemrsm11: I am 25. I feel like a lot of these young marriages that I am hearing of will not last. I am not wishing bad on anyone, but I think that it really adds graveness to the situation. My main issue is that alot of times in the south, marriage is trivialized and the wedding is seen as the main focus.