Post # 1
Do any of you fellow ‘waiting bees’ worry about wedding related issues even before you have had the proposal? I am a worrier by nature but as we get more and more committed I find myself thinking and thefore worrying about stuff that hasnt even come up yet… Here a few recent classics, My SO has a HUGE family, his Mum married 3 times and he has 4 brothers (3 with different Dad’s) and step brothers which all have families of their own and they are all close, like weirdly close, all of them. I dont want a huge wedding and also dont want to feel outnumbered by people who I dont even know or ever met on our wedding day…
This probably wont be a big deal when the subject of invites comes up but I cant help but feel a little uncomfortable!
So my question to you is, have you had any pre-proposal worries??
Post # 3
Well I probably won’t even get engaged until next year but I’m already worried about what type of wedding we’ll have. He has a larger family than me and tons of friends, whereas I have my three immediate family members I would want to invite and maybe like, one friend. So I’d prefer to elope someplace or have a tiny destination wedding, but his family likely wouldn’t be able to afford the trip. Really though, I’m sure we’ll find a happy in-between. So I’m being completely ridiculous lol
Post # 4
@littlesquidge: You are not alone! My mind just wanders sometimes and seeing as I’ve been with SO for some time and we know we’re going to get married eventually these types of things pop into my head. SO’s parents are each 1 of 7 siblings! I’ve already joked with my SO and both of our families that our wedding is going to be ridiculously large which isn’t something I thought I wanted. Oh well, what can ya do? The nice thing about waiting is you have time to think through some of the possible issues before they are actually issues. I feel like I’ll be less stressed when I’m actually planning my wedding because I’ve already anticipated and thought of solutions to many forseeable dilemmas. Try not to get worked up about it – the fact that it’s not a pressing issue (yet) should calm you down because you have plenty of time to come up with possible solutions!
Post # 5
I think its natural to worry about guest list problems, even if you’re a waiting bee. At least if you’re on the bee because that seems like one of the most difficult parts to get through and its the first one you have to get through. There are endless threads with bees posting guest list problems.
I think mainly about how I want a tiny destination wedding of about 20-25, closest friends and family. No worries as much about my extended family getting upset, I hardly see them and wasn’t invited to most of their weddings. I know SO’s extended family is probably going to be really upset though and I might have to give up my dream wedding. Which bums me out because I became so excited when SO said he also wanted a small destination wedding, as he hates large crowds and being in the spot light.
So every time I think about it and am on the verge of a freak out I just stop and say to myself ‘Oh! Perk of being a waiting bee! I don’t NEED to think about this right now. Okay I’m going to go do anything else instead of thinking about weddings!’
Post # 6
@littlesquidge: I do stuff like that too! I think about having a wedding at a certain place and then think “oh man ok well x and y couldn’t go …unless i do this or that”
I often think about our guest list lol
You have to be prepared for these scenarios in the future, right? :p
Post # 7
@littlesquidge: I have the same worry! We both want a small wedding – max 30 people. When we counted all the people we thought we needed to invite, it added up to 70! So that’s going to be a lot of cutting down, and I kind of feel that our families will hate us. Oh well..!
Post # 8
We are years away from that, but I’m worried about his huge, international family! His dad is the youngest of 10, so he has a huge family. A lot of them live in Canada or India. I’m thinking we will have to have a small-ish wedding for our family on this side of the globe and then go to India for another celebration…
Post # 9
@littlesquidge: I have something similar to your worry. SO comes from a biiiiig family and I want the smallest wedding I can get away with, I’m thinking 20-30 people, which will leave a lot of his family out, I worry how we’ll explain that to all of them :/
I also worry about his mom trying to have a lot of say in it, I really like her but she is very particular about a lot of stuff and I don’t want her to plan everything! I have a feeling she’ll definitely try thou :/