- 4 years ago
First of all, I just wanted to say how wonderful it’s been to find such a great, supportive community. I’ve recently realized that I’m a waiting bee too, because whenever I think of the future, SO’s right there in every frame with me. 🙂 I don’t have an agonizing, I’ve-been-waiting-for-absolutely-ever story, but I’ve just learned that I may be waiting for quite a bit longer than I’d estimated, so I thought I’d share my story here and hopefully some of you will give me solace!
SO’s from a small town and most of his friends his age (28) are married and/or have kids. I grew up in a huge city and only some of my friends my age (26) are just starting to get engaged – and hardly anyone has kids yet. He’s been dropping hints since the beginning (in a very charming, non-creepy way :P) that I’m “the one” and that he wants to marry me, but I’d periodically drop hints that we should take our time because we haven’t been together that long.
He’s mentioned before that he hopes for us to have our first child when I’m 30-31ish. So in the back of my mind, I built this rough timeline in my head: We met at 25/27, we could be engaged by 27/29, married by 28/30 (to give us a year to plan the wedding), we could then enjoy being married for a year before TTC at 29/31, and have our first child by 30-31/32-33, if all goes well. Wonderful!
We went out on a date on Saturday in the neighbourhood where we had our first date. He was all mysterious about having a surprise for me and I inwardly wondered if maybe he was going to propose. I was excited but also super nervous because I realized that I’m really not ready yet – this doesn’t follow my timeline! It’s supposed to happen next year, I thought to myself.
Lo and behold, we walked past the restaurant where we had our first date. I breathed a sigh of relief but was also slightly disappointed. We talked all night as usual, when we started talking about what we were doing in 2010. He mentioned that he was single at the time, so I asked if he thought we’d be married by now if we were already dating then.
His answer was a huge, emphatic “No!!!” He’s always given me the impression that he’s the type of guy who can’t wait to get married, so I was rather surprised. I asked why and he said, “That’s less than 2 years ago!!!” …so I kind of know now that a proposal is not imminent.
Later, I started to ask when he thought we should get married if he could have his way, but he cut off my question before I could even get to the “M” word, telling me not to ask and that he doesn’t know. Not gonna lie – that was very, very disappointing. If I didn’t already know that he wants to marry me and have kids within 5 years, I’d be really hurt.
So I guess I still have a few years of waiting! That would’ve been fine and dandy…except he’s been planting wedding-thought seeds in my head from the get-go, and now that I’m as sure about him as he’s always been about me, the waiting is much, much more difficult!!!
That’s my anxious waiting story – thanks for reading this massive post! You guys are awesome! 🙂