Walk Date

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Im sorry you are going through this. I know how hard it is because after reading your posts i feel like we have very similar stories. I actually had meltdown last night in front of my so similar to how your night went and could have written your post above. your so is like mine and has led you to believe early on marriage is what he wanted (mock proposals, hints, talks, etc) so i totally understand your frustration. i have no advise because im obviously in the same boat but just want you to know that you are not alone and pretty sure every emotion you are feeling right now i am too. 

Post # 6
Member
3896 posts
Honey bee

I feel you hun, this could be me too. Even though I wish it was so simple itr isn’t. I don’t want to force him into it but I just don’t get it. He loves me, he thinks I am awesome, been together 4.5 years, can’t live without me …… blah blah blah, then…. what’s the problem!? I was going to set a walk date for after Christmas but had a melt down a few weeks ago and told him to get the f*ck out of our flat and that we were done. He couldn’t believe it and I was like, get out, I want to find someone else to spend my life with that has a pair of balls and will WANT to marry me. Anyway, SO then asked me to marry him! (ugh) I said no.. We are all good but i think he has just kind of pushed all that to the back of his mind again. What is wrong with them!?

Post # 7
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

Sometimes when you live together and it is almost like you are married they get so comfortable that it just doesn’t occur to them. I feel so bad right nowthatyou are going through this right now. Ido think at some point something has to give. 

Post # 10
Member
3896 posts
Honey bee

Yes it is nice to know that others have douchey other halves that want to live like  Peter-frickin’-Pan! lol. As for the living together thing. I said if you don’t want to live with me after 3 years then bugger off, but I really wanted to be engaged first. He said. live together for a bit then get engaged. Over a year later, no sign of a ring (for a fact I know this – EVEN though we were going to save together and have looked at rings) and probably no intention either. But as soon as I say, we are done, he melts down! Agh!

Post # 11
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - Church

@Bettyboo1982:  That is what I was beginning to think, too, as me and my FI have beendating four years coming up December and living together 3.5 years. Some guys are just so absolutely clueless. I think it has its definite pitfalls but positives as well.

He owns the place? And you pay him rent? I would find that a difficult pill to swallow … Perhaps you should move out for a bit at your walk date to see if he changes his mind (one of those “aha” moments). 

I think at a certain point it is actually quite cruel to keep someone around, especially at our age, when thereis no intention of marriage. You should be sure after three years. Kind of reminds me of the movie “He’s Just Not that Into You”

Have you thought about proposing to him? Why wait around for him to propose (like if he doesn’t by x date then you do)?

Post # 13
Member
3896 posts
Honey bee

@Bettyboo1982:  Are we getting two-timed by the same guy?! lol. Mine is just the same. He said, well we will get engaged at some point then just get married. I am like, dude, with what money and what time to plan? He said one day he will just wake up and want to get married. Ugh. And you are right , it is good to iron things out and get used to being with each other so much. I would think getting married then living with each other could be very daunting.

Post # 16
Member
451 posts
Helper bee

@Bettyboo1982:  My date is March 1. We’ve looked at settings, he has my grandmothers 1.75 carat oval in his possession, we have done a huge amount of work on blending our families/children. His (valid) excuse is he wants to wait until a lawsuit with his ex wife is settled. That was supposed to be this summer. Now he has another court date in Jan and the judge took 7 months to make a partial ruling before. The kids keep talking about moving in together. I think they’re confused that we aren’t moving forward after him talking about it so long. People advise me to support him though this lawsuit but at some point it becomes an excuse. We will face far worse issues throughout a marriage. I believe that if a man really wants to marry you he will find a way come hell or high water. March 1st. 

 

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