- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
So I do not want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I never even considered that it would be part of my ceremony, and kind of even forgot about that tradition.
However, I am not sure what I want to do instead, and I do not know how to bring up the subject without really hurting my family’s feelings. They are very traditional-minded, conservative christians, and I am nothing of the sort.
I was thinking I might instead like to have both of my parents walk behind me down the aisle, but also have FI’s parents walk him to the front as well. In both cases, we could hug/kiss our parents and be “given away” to one another.
The problem is, I don’t think his parents will like this non-traditional idea either. They are not as stuck-in-the-mud as my parents, but they would quietly think it was weird and too feminist. FI has told me that his mother would NOT take well to me keeping my name (something I decided against, but it was not her opinion that stopped me!).
I am getting a little frustrated with FI as well, because while he claims to want a nontraditional wedding day, he is slowly taking steps backward to a traditional ceremony. He was not enthusiastic about asking his parents to walk with him down the aisle. We talked about having a friend officiate, but now he wants to use a minister even though neither of us has gone to church regularly in a while (i.e. no minister we both know well and like we could ask). He really surprised me when he balked at the idea of his groomsmen wearing mismatched ties (same color family, different patterns), or my bridesmaids wearing mismatched dresses (same color or color family, different styles.
And here is the problem… being a feminist, not wanting this to be MY day but OUR day… I want to let him have a say. I guess I’m just surprised that he is turning out to be a little more traditional about the details. It’s hard for me to compromise, especially since I’m an artist and a photographer, and I have a very strong idea of what I want the day to look and feel like (and I really dislike matchy-matchy!) Also, we are paying for this mostly by ourselves, and he is contributing more than me – I will be in school up until the wedding next spring.
Any tips for gently pushing him in the directions I want? 😉
And, if you did not have your father “give you away”, what did you do instead? I’m still pondering how to do the big walk down the aisle.