- 5 years ago
I am having a dillema of who is going to walk me down the aisle.
Here is a little bit if background. My father left my mother before I was born. They were both young and not married. I didn’t meet him until I was 11. Then as quickly as I met him, he had business to attend to back where he was from and left with no explination. He lived half way across the country. I didn’t see him again until after I turned 18. We kept in contact through phone and letters. Had our ups and downs but now that I have a child and he has finally grown up a bit and we have started to build a pretty awesome relationship that I am so very thankful for after years of wondering what I was doing wrong. But I realize now that it was all him. We have talked about it and he knows how wrong he was for not being a man and takin care of his child. He sees all the fun times he missed when my daughter and I go to visit and I can tell it hurts him inside for not being there. That is some thing that he has to live with.
Here is where I face the dillema.
Around the same time I met my father for the first time my mother started dating her now husband of almost 15 years. We didnt get along that well but I know he always was hard on my because he wanted me to get my head out of my rear and be something in life. He wanted nothing but the best for me, we were not close when I was young but now that I realize that all he wanted for me was success I cherish our relationship even more.
So as you can probably guess, I cannot choose who will walk me down the aisle. Ideally I would love for them both to walk me down the aisle, but I dont know how to approach either of them about it. I think my father would be understanding but still upset if it wasnt him and my step father would also be sort of upset because he was there when my “real” father wasnt. My step dad doesnt like awkward situations and them both walking me down would be awkward, because my step dad, for obvious reasons, doesnt have much respect for my real father.
When I was young this was a really clear easy choice for me. It would have been my step dad. But now that I have built this relationship with my father, and he is putting forth an effort, I feel like because he missed so much this is something that he should be a part of. And I dont want to hurt his feelings.
I thought having my mother walk me down would be better, although untraditional, she is always the person no matter what that was there for me. Then again we would be a ball of tears walking down together. 😉
Or my next option would be to have both of my younger brothers walk me down the aisle and avoid any akwardness that may come of my father and step father both walking me down.
Anyone been in a simular situation?