walked…can be removed from waiting list

posted 3 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Ashley8200blue:  I’m so sorry. As painful as it was, both of you deserve a relationship where your needs are being met

Post # 4
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  I’m sorry. What a hard decision to have to make. A year is not really that long though…were you waiting for a proposal for a year or had you only been in a relationship for a year?

Post # 6
1492 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ashley8200blue:  I read your original thread. Good for you for walking. Sounds like he really doesn’t know what he wants, and you deserve better. He gave you a timeline and it sounds like he didn’t stick by it and he doesn’t have clear, actionable reasons on why he doesn’t feel ready. Hope you will start to feel better soon!

Post # 7
1178 posts
Bumble bee

@Ashley8200blue:  I think you are opening yourself up to find someone who will value you and marriage instead of being stuck with someone who isn’t sure. Good for you! There will be painful, crappy times but they will pass. Best wishes to you!

Post # 8
5208 posts
Bee Keeper

@Ashley8200blue:  I spent 6 years with a guy who wasn’t interested in marriage. It was tough, but I walked. A lot of it had to do with my faith as well. It was so painful, but it was the best decision I ever made.

Several years later, I met and married my husband with in a 3 month span of time. We knew immediately what the Lord had in mind for us. Almost 7 years later, I’m planning a vow renewal so I can marry him again Smile

(((((hugs)))))) You are doing the right thing!

Post # 9
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Smart woman.  In your 30s you don’t have the time to wait around forever and if he doesn’t know after 3 years, it’s most likely not going to happen.  I’m glad you stuck to your bottom line and walked even though he told you he still wants you, he just isn’t sure when (I hear this as “if”) he wants to marry you.

Post # 10
771 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  I’m really sorry. He will soon realize what he missed out on. It’s not fair- 3 years/over 30… That’s where I was. I really broke down and gave myself a mental ultimatum. It was going to be hard but it wasn’t fair to me. Luckily, I didn’t have to give an ultimatum or leave but was within months of doing so. Some men need to grow up.

Post # 11
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  I am all for women leaving relationships where they are not happy. It is better than waiting, getting the proposal and then getting married to a man who really does not make you happy.

I have left a few dead end relationships and had people wondering why but I am a firm believer that you should not be unhappy in a relationship. Relationships are meant to make you feel good most of the time.

Post # 12
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry.  I walked from an 8-year long relationship and it took a few years but then I met (and married) the love of my life.  Someday it won’t hurt so bad, although it will take time.

Post # 14
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  Honestly, even if you were 25, its still been 3 years…he should know by now. I know many women here on the Bee like to say “well, ure only (insert age here) years old, you can wait around a bit” but I speak to the contrary. When a man wants to commit to you, neither hell nor highwater will stop him. Thats the kind of love you want, and the kind you deserve. From the sound of your posts, I wouldnt be surprised if he came back beating down your door once he realizes how much he misses you-but then, itll be up to you to decide if you want him back. Don’t beat yourself up over it, and him. You deserve a man who cant wait to give you his heart wholely and fully, and I’m sure you will find it. 
Many hugs! 

Post # 15
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Ashley8200blue:  That’s so hard, hon. I’m so sorry. But the fact that you want kids, and you’re in your early thirties, leaves me with no doubt that you did the right thing. If three years wasn’t enough for him to be certain, he might never have been certain. And if being a biological mom is important to you, you no longer have the time to sit around waiting to find out.

Big hugs to you. May the next man you fall in love with be a man who wants to commit to spending the rest of his life with you.

Post # 16
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ashley8200blue:  You’re right you shouldnt have to convince someone to marry you.  After 3 years, I think that’s quite a bit of time to figure it out.  Very sorry you’re hurting.  You will find someone that deserves you.  Big hug.

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors