(Closed) Walking Myself Down the Aisle

posted 5 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Keep an open mind right now, if you date is really next year then you have plenty of time to make a final decision. If you do, however, decide that you will walk alone I think it would be nice of you to make it known. Not necessarily going to your step dad and telling him that you don’t want him to walk you down the aisle but casually bring up walking by yourself during a dinner or conversation so that he knows.

Post # 4
Member
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a similar dilemma.  I am close to my Dad, but due to disability, he was unable to walk me.  My parents assumed that I would ask my Mom and Stepmom to walk me together and I didn’t want that either.  Once I decided to walk alone, I told my parents to clear up any assumptions or confusion.  I explained to them that the reason I wanted to walk alone was because I am in independent woman giving myself freely to my husband.  Even though I agree with that statement, it wasn’t the whole truth.  But I used that excuse anyway because I didn’t want to hurt my mom or stepmom’s feelings. 

Post # 7
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Coral99:  I didn’t say this in my previous post but I struggled a bit too with this decision. Not because i’m not close to my father but because he passed away when I was four and my mother and I have a very rough relationship. My mom really wanted to give me away and I really didn’t want to her. I thought the walk would be very emotional for me because of my dad but I really didn’t even think about it. I let me mom give me away when I got to the end of the aisle though. I met her and the end of the aisle, she stood up, gave me away and then I walked to my husband.

Maybe you could do something like that with your step dad?

Post # 8
Member
11 posts
Newbee

Bring this up ASAP. I wanted to walk myself down the aisle for a million reasons:

1. My dress was huge and my aisle was not. There was no way anyone was going to fit next to me.

2. My father and I are still working on our relationship, but I didn’t know if he would actually show up to the wedding.

3. I don’t have another father figure that could’ve walked me down the aisle as my grandfather had passed away as well.

4. i’m super independent and no one was crazy about my relationship, or supportive, so why should they walk with me?

 

What ended up happening? My “means well but really wanted part of the spotlight” mother walked me down the aisle. She ended up stepping on my dress and yes, part of the undernneath ripped as I was walking down the aisle. 

Looking back I should’ve addressed this immediately and then stood my ground. I should’ve had her walk me to the aisle and then let me walk by myself. ANYTHING other than what happened.

It’s such a hard conversation to have, so hard that I didn’t even have it. If I could go back, I would change that…and I’m a wedding planner for a living, so if I have a regret about my wedding, you know it’s a big deal.

 

Good luck!!!

Post # 10
Member
11 posts
Newbee

LOL. It was. I called my dress the comforter ๐Ÿ˜‰ But it’s what I wanted so there ya go!

Best of luck with this! I totally get how this stresses brides out!

 

D

Post # 13
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I have always imagined myself walking down the aisle by myself however I know my mom really wants to walk me down the aise and I just don’t know what to do either….It hasn’t come up in conversation yet but I know it will. FI is totally supportive of me walking down the aisle alone so at least I have him in my corner. So if you really want to walk down the aise alone, go for it and just make sure everyone knows so no one gets blindsided and ends up really upset. Being upfront is probably the best choice in a case like this.

Post # 15
Member
507 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Cabin

My DH and I walked together.  I didn’t want to be with anyone else.  We had a moment alone outside before the wedding started and before we walked in.. It was the best decision.. And I have a father and step father that I do get along with.  The news was taken well.  I just said that was what I wanted to do, and they said, whatever makes you happy! Hopefully it will be just as easy for you. 

Post # 16
Member
12250 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Just say you feel it’s antiquated or something, and that you would prefer to forego the outdated image of being given from one man to another. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it, and you don’t have to step on toes and explain complicated feelings if you do it that way.

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