Post # 1
Well first the good news – January 31st is my b-day so Fiance surprised me with the ring and we did the Official Announcing to friends and family. Yay!
So here’s the funny thing…while I am overjoyed, I’ve also been feeling really stressed out since then. Just random things, like:
The phone call to my cousin who was sort of pre-engaged last year and then her Boyfriend or Best Friend left her. I knew she’d be pulling it together to sound happy for me but it would bring up a lot of upsetting memories. It was just a hard conversation.
Asking my parents for money – I feel guilty accepting it, and my dad seemed a little freaked out at the prospect of this now being ‘real’. He’s said all along “I’ll congratulate you when I see the ring, ha ha!” When I told him about getting it he congratulated me but he also seemed a little stressed, maybe about the money aspect. I made a joke about him paying for the honeymoon as a wedding gift and he took it seriously and sounded miffed, which is not like him – normally he’d just laugh with me.
Fiance seems to be stressed about whether he’s SURE I love the ring or not (I was ecstatic and I’ve told him a million times that I do!)
I told one family before I told another and that caused a minor tiff (hey, I couldn’t do a simultaneous conference call to everyone!)
I’m not really complaining. There’s been lots of love, congratulations, and cheer as well! It’s just that this wasn’t 100% what I expected. I think I pictured all Happy Happy Joy Joy, but along with that there seems to be this undertone of tension at announcing such a Big Event!
Post # 3
hate to tell you but the tension doesnt stop. weddings are infamous for them. just prepare yourself for the things that lie ahead and remember at the end of the day you are marrying the man of your dreams!!!! 🙂
Post # 4
First, congrats on your engagement! That’s awesome! It’s definitely Happy Happy Joy Joy here in the hive!
As for the other things, try not to worry about it. To be honest, I didn’t enjoy calling people to tell them about the engagement, and put it off for a couple of days. I remember when I called my parents, they seemed a little off, even though I knew they were happy and excited about it – it was a “she’s really growing up/away from us” moment for them. It could be any of a number of things that caused your dad to be a little more serious than ususal.
I feel bad for your cousin and that it was an awkward call – but kudos for calling her and not just electronically letting her know or letting her hear through the grapevine. 🙂
Post # 5
Oh, I’m sorry your happy news is stressing you out! But I think it’s normal, so don’t feel bad! Weddings can involve a lot of awkwardness, and it’s a big transition time for family so I think that some tension is pretty standard. Try and enjoy this time, because it really can be fun, but realize that it’s also stressful, and that’s okay! At the end of it all, you’ll be married to the man of your dreams and that’s all that matters! Lots of ((HUGS)) and congratulations on your engagement!
Post # 6
Congrats!! Also, give it a little time. The two weeks after the wedding were probably the first time Fiance has ever seen me cry. I am not a super emotional person at all… and yet all the stress and not-as-good-as-hoped reactions and budget talks and decisions… I came to him in tears like twice! He said it really freaked him out because that is so not who I am… to be caring what other people think or about things like CHAIRS for goodness sake. I think it just took a few weeks for me to get my balance and my thicker skin and move forward and now its not nearly so bad. i think part of the weird thing about getting engaged is that before it happens you think its going to be 100% wonderful and all sunshine and ponies until you get married… so the fact that it is not that way (for most people) is both disappointing and EXTRA disappointing because its not what you expected.
Post # 7
This was exactly how it was for me too!! Both of my brothers were like “oh wow. gosh. that’s fast.” (we had been dating a year). And my mom was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to say. My cousin was a little jealous (I could tell), and my Fiancé’s family was all sort of like, “Well, good.” but nothing too joyous or estatic (Which is exactly how I felt). It was a big let-down actually. I really expected everyone to run around being giddy and excited like me. It’s been a few months and everyone has come around though- and they are excited. But it was hard for me to understand that everyone had to come to terms with such a huge change in my life (and their lives) and that shock and discomfort (in a weird way) are the early stages of joy when it requires such a profound change.
Post # 8
Ohhhh little things, how they are such a bummer… seriously, congrats and don’t let your “engagement happiness” be over quite yet! FI’s mom had already taken her sleeping meds when we got engaged, so when we called she sounded lethargic and a little pissed off–he took it personally until I told him to call her back and make sure she was ok with everything. Then he found out the truth!
So yeah, people act strange, but you know what? YOU’RE ENGAGED!!! Lol. And just try to let the little things not bother you now, because as PP said, it just keeps coming!
Post # 9
Relax, its Big News and will probably take a while to sink in for everyone. Sometimes its just a bit overwhelming and I’m guessing people should come to terms with it once you begin wedding planning in earnest (deposits, dress shopping, looking at locations and vendors). It may be that the news is just slightly surreal for them right now.
About the family drama, brace yourself. This is the first of many many more to come and will probably require every ounce of your diplomatic skills to be put into action. Be polite and firm about what you envision for YOUR wedding and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing, acting, looking, feeling a certain way just because they have preconceived notions.
Congratulations on the engagement and good luck!