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I don't know anything about how long it really takes to get pregnant but the way things normally go, since you aren't ready to have a baby for a few months you will probably get pregnant right away! Why not go off the pill and use condoms for a little while to give your body time to adjust? And don't worry about the endometriosis too much, it doesn't cause fertility problems for everyone that has it.
First, congrats on taking the next big step in your life :) Since you wanting off the pill is more than just baby-making related, why don't you go off but use condoms in the meantime until February? That way you and your hubby are both satisfied for a couple of months, then you can really start TTC?
I was on the pill for three years. I got pregnant within a month of stopping it.
Would he be okay with using condoms for awhile? It would only be two months, and if one of them broke, it wouldn't really be the end of the world for you guys :). That way you could just get a head start on easing off the pills, and I'm sure he would appreciate the higher libido :).
@MissAsB: i agree--if you're that uncomfortable, maybe going off the pill but still using condoms until your husband is on board with baby-making plans is the way to go. either way, talking to him about it openly will help
You mentioned that you "lost your period almost completely." That's actually not uncommon. When you're on BC, your body responds to hormonal withdrawal (the placebo week/ days) via bleeding. It's not a regular period like when you're not on BC.
It's really hard to predict how long it will take for someone to get pregnant. There are people who get pregnant if they miss two or three BC pills. For other people, it takes months. If you have any concerns about how becoming pregnant immediately would affect your career, etc., I would definitely use condoms until you're really ready to conceive (whether that be February or 6 months later in August).
Hey all, thanks so much for the suggestions! I have thought about the condom thing and I think it's a good solution, however, that would involve me actually having to tell my husband WHY I want to go off the pill sooner. As far as he is concerned, he thinks my libido is still fine/average just obviously not quite what it was. He doesn't know how bad its gotten and I don't want to tell him that all this time I've been initiating it was only for his benefit :( I feel like that could really really hurt him. Any ideas of how to tell him? Or do I just suck it up and keep going how I've been going for another 2 months?
Just be honest with him. I have had a lot of health problems lately and my husband knows it affects my sex drive. I was on a pill before that made me completely hate sex and now that I'm off it, it's better. It's not perfect, we have to spend time getting me worked up but it's better being honest about it. You can also say that you want to use time before you want to conceive to start charting or something so you know when the ideal time to make a baby would be?
@PandasWifey: You don't know how to approach it with him? How about:
"I want to go off the pill sooner to allow my body to reset before we TTC. How do you feel about that?"
Pretty simple. If you can't discuss it with him, then you as a couple are not ready for children.
Plus, I think it's better to be honest about him so after the kid is born and you want to go back on some type of BC, you won't have to lie to him about why you don't want to go on that specific pill again.
I went off the pill after our honeymoon this past April and was pregnant after our first try. (We miscarried in July, though). You definitely CAN get pregnant the first month. In fact, much research shows you are very fertile immediately after stopping the pill. (There is a higher probability of twins, too!) I don't have endometriosis, though. But assuming that wouldn't play a part, just know you can get pregnant right off the pill! Like somebody else mentioned, some women get pregnant while still on the pill.
I had almost no sex drive while on the pill, too. (Sucks, doesn't it?!) My husband knew, though. I was totally honest with him. I would just tell him that you'd like to stop the pill for two reasons. One, to prepare your body for pregnancy and two, to help your sex drive. I'm sure he'll be happy to know that you want to improve your sex life. My husband was thrilled when I told him my sex drive should get better after stopping the pill. Unfortunately, mine hasn't returned to what it used to be before the pill (about 8 years ago I think). I've read it can take some women a long time to get their sex drive back. I would say mine is definitely better, though. Good luck!
Im sorry hon. That must have been hard to keep up appearences. You shouldn't have to pretend to be in the mood. When I was on Yaz, I was the saaame way, but being honest with my DH about it was easy. He didn't take it personally and was understanding. I did give in to his advances a few times even though I wasn't in the mood for his sake though, but I cant imagine how hard it would have been to keep it up! Im sure he will be ok with it. Just be honest. But make sure you are being honest with yourself too. I went off the pill because I had bad baby fever and convinced myself we would be able to ttc soon, but I was just kidding myself. A year later I started back on a different pill and so far i really like this one. you sound much closer to ttc than we are though. good luck with whatever you decide.
I agree with crayfish.
You have to do what's best for YOU and YOUR BODY. I went off the Nuvaring because it was having some effects on me that I didn't like. I didn't ask my husband if it was okay, I told him I was going to do it and we needed to find another BC option that worked well for both of us. If your husband loves you (which I assume he does), then he will want you to do what's best for you and he'll help you find some new BC ... or he can just try condoms.
I was on BC for over 5 years, came off of it for 3 months when we decided to TTC. I had endometriosis (diagnosed and removed through surgery) and it took us 2 months to get pregnant.
If I had no sex drive and didn't want sex, I would stop initiaing. That is probably the best way for him to realize what a problem your sex drive is.
I've been on the pill nonstop since I was 17, I'm 26 now. I'll give you the answer my gyno gave me when I asked about getting pregnant after being on the pill for so long : "Every woman is different, it could happen in 1 month, it could happen in 6 months, if a year goes by and nothing happens, then we have to do tests and find out why".
Have you thought about trying the charting method so that you can see exactly how your body reacts when you are off of birth control. It may be difficult to explain how it all works to your husband, but it is really effective at preventing or trying to conceive. When I talked to my husband about going off of birth control, I had also consulted with my doctor so I just told him what my doctor's advice was on our situation. It was nice to have the medical advice to support how I was feeling about the birth control.
@PandasWifey: The first thing that needs to happen is for you to be upfront and honest with your husband. He needs to know how the pill is effecting you and your body. Next, you should read the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Anniversary/dp/0060881909/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1293821101&sr=8-1This book has been very helpful to me while TTC (is also helpful when trying not to conceive).
I was on the pill for 15ish years. I went off at the end of July (end of honeymoon). I had about 4 cycles (they were fairly long...about 35ish days) and just got pregnant this month! Every woman is different so who knows how long it will take you. Good luck!
Perhaps you might consider telling your husband about the BCP side effect/s you're having. When I explained to FH all the reasons why I don't like hormonal BC (for me), he got the idea and stopped asking me to go on the pill/ring/depo/IUC (sometimes he gets tired of condoms).
I would go off the pill and use condoms instead until February if your husband is uncomfortable with "trying" until February. Otherwise, if he's okay with it, just go all-out TTC without protection. As for when you'll get pregnant, it varies. Some women's bodies react to going off the pill by ovulating immediately, while some take a year or more to get back on track. However, just because it takes a while for your body to start having regular cycles doesn't mean you can't get pregnant. As for an "average" timeline, I believe that it's around 3-6 months, but honestly there's so much variation that no one can tell you for sure. If anything, I'd say that the endometriosis will affect your chances more than the pill.
I was on the pill for 9 yrs, went off and ovulated the next month. I ovulate every month also. Oh, and my sex drive was always high, whether on the pill or not, thank goodness.
I think you just need to flat out tell your husband. Don't sugar coat it, don't beat around it, just be brutally honest. Otherwise you'll never be on the same page. I wouldn't worry about the endometriosis until you have problems. My doc said that if i'm not pregnant within 6 months, she wants me back in her office (i have endo also). Ask your doctor what she thinks is a realistic timeline for YOU to get pregnant, considering you already have a possible fertility hurdle.
Wow, thank you so much again ladies for all chiming in with your personal experiences, advice and stories. I definitely have a lot to think about. The fact that I actually havent WANTED to have sex AT ALL, not even once, in the past 6 months and have been doing it anyway, even initiating it, is definitely my deepest darkest secret right now :( Thank you all for letting me bare it here without making me feel shamed. Typically I don't keep anything at all from my husband, but I think this is something I couldn't bear to divulge for his sake.
@guitargirl: I actually like this suggestion. Instead of having to confess about the last six months all together, maybe letting him see the real effects of what is going on from here on would be best? I don't intend to deny him all together (that's just not fair), but I also don't have been keeping up with the amount he is currently accustomed to when the idea of it is so unpleasant for me right now.
For those of you who don't know, the thing about endometriosis is, the BC pill is an actual treatment for it that prevents the condition from progressing. As soon as I go off the pill, it will start progressing again and hence possibly actually decrease my chances of having a baby, so I'm actually on the fence if going off two months in advance would be an advantage or disadvantage. I should speak to my doctor. In my heart, I just want to go off the pill and let it be what will come as nature and God intends, but at the same time I don't want to comprimising my later 2011 brides. I do have amazing photographer friends I know would help me out and cover for me or offer refunds, but these brides didn't hire anyone else, they hired me :/. Perhaps I should just be patient and take guitar's advice. By the time late February rolls around, then maybe my hubby will be gungho about me going off it ;)
@PandasWifey: Have you been to your doctor for the endometriosis? I also have it and had surgery to remove it. The doctors aren't really worried about my chances of conceiving because of it though. Ejs sees a reproductive endocrinologist. Maybe you should look for one too to find out exactly what problems if any you might have?
Be very careful!!! My hubbie & I were going off the pill & going to use condoms until we discussed babies again in 6 months. I went off the pill & we had sex 3 times within 3 weeks (twice using withdrawl & one unprotected). I am 37 & had been on the pill for 20 years & though there was no way I could get pregnant right away...thus the 3 times without condoms. We started using condoms after that...well too late I got pregnant some time during those 3 times! I had always heard it can take months for your body to regulate itself blah, blah, blah. Well when we went to doctor the first time the nurse said that the first month is usually the most fertile when you go off low hormone bc! That was first Ihad heard that!
So....just be honest with YOURSELF & YOUR HUBBIE about why you want to go off pill. If you are not ready yet...USE CONDOMS EVERYTIME until you are!
Good luck & God Bless!
There are some other ways to manage endometriosis besides birth control. You might want to talk to your OB about alternatives and how bad your case is since you may have to be off of BC for awhile when trying to conceive.
I've never been on BC and we rarely use condoms and we managed to avoid pregnancy when it wasn't ideal and get pregnant our first month trying. That said we were both always open to the idea of having a family together, so you might want to talk to him about alternatives to the pill, their effectiveness and what happens if you get pregnant sooner than planned.
I'd also talk to your husband about why you want to go off BC, you don't have to focus on the lower sex drive, though it's probably worth mentioning to him. If it was me I'd rather talk to him about it then just change my behavior all of a sudden. I think you're much more likely to hurt him if he feels rejected by you and he has no idea why then if you just open up with him and say since you've been on the pill you've noticed your drive went down. Who knows what reasons he'll come up with if you just change your behavior without giving him an explanation.
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Hey everyone, I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm really struggling here. I'm ready to have a baby, I mean I dream about being pregnant all the time, but I have so many things holding me back. The first is my business, I'm a weddng photographer so I want to wait until the end of February to go off BC, so that just in case by some miracle I got pregnant right away I would still be able to work all my weddings next year before having the baby. However, I'm 90% sure it will be at least 4-6 months after I get off BC before I can even start hoping I'll get preggers, just because I've been on BC for something like 14 years now and my body will need time to go back to normal. I guess my first question is, for those of you who know, how long does that typically take?
My second thing is my husband, he SEEMs to be on board for late February, but I really want to go off the pill sooner and dont know how to approach it. The reason I'm getting impatient is because the BC has officially messed me up to the point of serious discomfort. I have lost my period almost completely, I have ZERO sex drive and it's all I can do to initiate with my husband sometimes so he doesnt figure out how much I really dread doing it. Don't get me wrong, he is an AWESOME lover and I miss the days where I wanted him constantly as much if not more than he does.
The Dr. said getting off the pill should definitely help with this. I also know it's probably going to take me longer than most to get pregnant due to my endometriosis so I feel I'd be pretty safe getting off the pill now and hoping for a pregnancy maybe six months down the road. Does anyone have any advice? What would you do in my situation? I know this is a touchy subject and I hope I haven't offended anyone including the talk about my sex life, but I don't really have anywhere else to turn. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!