Post # 1
Hey everyone, I know I haven’t posted in a while, but I’m really struggling here. I’m ready to have a baby, I mean I dream about being pregnant all the time, but I have so many things holding me back. The first is my business, I’m a weddng photographer so I want to wait until the end of February to go off BC, so that just in case by some miracle I got pregnant right away I would still be able to work all my weddings next year before having the baby. However, I’m 90% sure it will be at least 4-6 months after I get off BC before I can even start hoping I’ll get preggers, just because I’ve been on BC for something like 14 years now and my body will need time to go back to normal. I guess my first question is, for those of you who know, how long does that typically take?
My second thing is my husband, he SEEMs to be on board for late February, but I really want to go off the pill sooner and dont know how to approach it. The reason I’m getting impatient is because the BC has officially messed me up to the point of serious discomfort. I have lost my period almost completely, I have ZERO sex drive and it’s all I can do to initiate with my husband sometimes so he doesnt figure out how much I really dread doing it. Don’t get me wrong, he is an AWESOME lover and I miss the days where I wanted him constantly as much if not more than he does.
The Dr. said getting off the pill should definitely help with this. I also know it’s probably going to take me longer than most to get pregnant due to my endometriosis so I feel I’d be pretty safe getting off the pill now and hoping for a pregnancy maybe six months down the road. Does anyone have any advice? What would you do in my situation? I know this is a touchy subject and I hope I haven’t offended anyone including the talk about my sex life, but I don’t really have anywhere else to turn. Thanks in advance for any advice you can give!
Post # 3
I don’t know anything about how long it really takes to get pregnant but the way things normally go, since you aren’t ready to have a baby for a few months you will probably get pregnant right away! Why not go off the pill and use condoms for a little while to give your body time to adjust? And don’t worry about the endometriosis too much, it doesn’t cause fertility problems for everyone that has it.
Post # 4
First, congrats on taking the next big step in your life 🙂 Since you wanting off the pill is more than just baby-making related, why don’t you go off but use condoms in the meantime until February? That way you and your hubby are both satisfied for a couple of months, then you can really start TTC?
Post # 5
I was on the pill for three years. I got pregnant within a month of stopping it.
Post # 6
Would he be okay with using condoms for awhile? It would only be two months, and if one of them broke, it wouldn’t really be the end of the world for you guys :). That way you could just get a head start on easing off the pills, and I’m sure he would appreciate the higher libido :).
Post # 7
@MrsSaltWaterTaffy: i agree–if you’re that uncomfortable, maybe going off the pill but still using condoms until your husband is on board with baby-making plans is the way to go. either way, talking to him about it openly will help
Post # 9
You mentioned that you “lost your period almost completely.” That’s actually not uncommon. When you’re on BC, your body responds to hormonal withdrawal (the placebo week/ days) via bleeding. It’s not a regular period like when you’re not on BC.
It’s really hard to predict how long it will take for someone to get pregnant. There are people who get pregnant if they miss two or three BC pills. For other people, it takes months. If you have any concerns about how becoming pregnant immediately would affect your career, etc., I would definitely use condoms until you’re really ready to conceive (whether that be February or 6 months later in August).
Post # 10
Hey all, thanks so much for the suggestions! I have thought about the condom thing and I think it’s a good solution, however, that would involve me actually having to tell my husband WHY I want to go off the pill sooner. As far as he is concerned, he thinks my libido is still fine/average just obviously not quite what it was. He doesn’t know how bad its gotten and I don’t want to tell him that all this time I’ve been initiating it was only for his benefit 🙁 I feel like that could really really hurt him. Any ideas of how to tell him? Or do I just suck it up and keep going how I’ve been going for another 2 months?
Post # 11
Just be honest with him. I have had a lot of health problems lately and my husband knows it affects my sex drive. I was on a pill before that made me completely hate sex and now that I’m off it, it’s better. It’s not perfect, we have to spend time getting me worked up but it’s better being honest about it. You can also say that you want to use time before you want to conceive to start charting or something so you know when the ideal time to make a baby would be?
Post # 12
@PandasWifey: You don’t know how to approach it with him? How about:
“I want to go off the pill sooner to allow my body to reset before we TTC. How do you feel about that?”
Pretty simple. If you can’t discuss it with him, then you as a couple are not ready for children.
Post # 13
Plus, I think it’s better to be honest about him so after the kid is born and you want to go back on some type of BC, you won’t have to lie to him about why you don’t want to go on that specific pill again.
Post # 14
I went off the pill after our honeymoon this past April and was pregnant after our first try. (We miscarried in July, though). You definitely CAN get pregnant the first month. In fact, much research shows you are very fertile immediately after stopping the pill. (There is a higher probability of twins, too!) I don’t have endometriosis, though. But assuming that wouldn’t play a part, just know you can get pregnant right off the pill! Like somebody else mentioned, some women get pregnant while still on the pill.
I had almost no sex drive while on the pill, too. (Sucks, doesn’t it?!) My husband knew, though. I was totally honest with him. I would just tell him that you’d like to stop the pill for two reasons. One, to prepare your body for pregnancy and two, to help your sex drive. I’m sure he’ll be happy to know that you want to improve your sex life. My husband was thrilled when I told him my sex drive should get better after stopping the pill. Unfortunately, mine hasn’t returned to what it used to be before the pill (about 8 years ago I think). I’ve read it can take some women a long time to get their sex drive back. I would say mine is definitely better, though. Good luck!
Post # 15
Im sorry hon. That must have been hard to keep up appearences. You shouldn’t have to pretend to be in the mood. When I was on Yaz, I was the saaame way, but being honest with my DH about it was easy. He didn’t take it personally and was understanding. I did give in to his advances a few times even though I wasn’t in the mood for his sake though, but I cant imagine how hard it would have been to keep it up! Im sure he will be ok with it. Just be honest. But make sure you are being honest with yourself too. I went off the pill because I had bad baby fever and convinced myself we would be able to ttc soon, but I was just kidding myself. A year later I started back on a different pill and so far i really like this one. you sound much closer to ttc than we are though. good luck with whatever you decide.
Post # 16
I agree with crayfish.
You have to do what’s best for YOU and YOUR BODY. I went off the Nuvaring because it was having some effects on me that I didn’t like. I didn’t ask my husband if it was okay, I told him I was going to do it and we needed to find another BC option that worked well for both of us. If your husband loves you (which I assume he does), then he will want you to do what’s best for you and he’ll help you find some new BC … or he can just try condoms.
I was on BC for over 5 years, came off of it for 3 months when we decided to TTC. I had endometriosis (diagnosed and removed through surgery) and it took us 2 months to get pregnant.