Post # 1
I have no siblings so we want to ask my 3 best pals, his 2 sisters and one of my cousins to be the bridesmaids. We also want to ask his brother, 2 of his best friends, a mutual friend and his sister’s boyfriend to be the groomsmen. This leaves his brother’s girlfriend of 3 years.
I feel like we need to ask her for the sake of sanity but I really don’t want her to be a part of our actual wedding party. The FH and her do not get along at all and she is not really my favorite person (she has done and said some not so nice things to me and the rest of the family) but I know that we will all have to be around each other for the rest of our lives and I want it to be a nice day. We are all trying to make it work and though it is awkward, I feel we all do need to get along just a bit. What can we ask her to do or be a part of so it doesn’t look like we are snubbing her and so we can keep order?
Thanks in advance for all your help and happy holidays!!
Post # 4
I would just ask her to do something else (not sure what)…or maybe invite her to get ready with you girls (if you can handle it). I don’t think she would expect to be in the bridal party as his brother’s gf so I wouldn’t stress too much.
Post # 5
Yes, a reader, handing out programs, or guest book attendant!
Post # 6
Yeah, just ask her to do something else that requires her to be somewhere else the whole time 🙂
Post # 7
You’re not required to have her in the wedding. Even if she was married to his brother, you wouldn’t need to ask her! If your fiance is close to his sister’s boyfriend, it makes sense to ask him, but if neither of you are close to his brother’s girlfriend, don’t feel guilty about it. If you do feel bad, like HisIrishPrincess said, let her do a reading. Even that’s not necessary though.
Post # 8
You guys all rock!! Thank you for the input – it’s wonderful people like you that are helping me not lose my mind over this whole thing! My mother doesn’t want her anywhere near the ceremony either (this gal is not that great at winning people over) so I think guest book attendant (or maybe valet! ;p) would work. I know from past experiences, her biggest concern is not sitting with her boyfriend when he is part of others’ wedding parties at the reception, so maybe we can have all people in the wedding party plus their significant others up at the head tables with us. Even though I am one of the last of about 50 cousins (the only other unmarried one is 11 yrs old) to get married and I am in my mid-30s, I didn’t expect or realize how much politics were involved in this – thank goodness that there will be a week of open bars surrounding this event!!
Post # 9
After all your help with the question, thought you would want to know that she actually asked me to be a reader at her wedding! I think we will have her do a poem at ours. We have gotten a bit closer now that we are both planning weddings so thanks again!