(Closed) Want to ask my sister to step down (long)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7347 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

Your sister sounds like she has some serious problems.  What do your parents think?  If you ask her to step down will she still be attending the wedding (and making a scene)? 

Post # 4
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My sister is a total Biotch! She dropped out of my wedding and now has RSVP’d ‘no’, for no reason at all.  She is 2 years older than me but literally acts like a child.  Im through with her, done! Just because we are family does not mean I have to put up with her toxic in my life.  My life is so much healthier now without her in it, making things up about my wedding to other family members thats not true like saying there is so much drama thats why she stepped down.  I dont want to say she is jealous of me either because she just had a huge wedding a few months ago, bought a new home and new car so why should she be right? Who knows what her problem is, sisters can be out of line sometimes. Its up to you if you want to disown her or not, I made my decision and it was easy

Post # 5
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Maybe you should talk to your parents about it and see what they think. Given that they’re close to her too they likely have a good perspective on this.

Post # 6
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I haven’t had to oust a sister or anything, but my mom did try to push me into letting my older sister, C, be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. I relented, but by the time I drove home I already decided that I didn’t want to do that. I know that C was a little upset that my younger sister, K, got to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but while I knew K wanted to be one (she didn’t get to be one at C’s wedding), I didn’t know that C did and I just KNOW that C won’t be satisfied with just being a Bridesmaid or Best Man, she’s going to want to oust my bff as Maid/Matron of Honor or be a Matron of Honor (which I don’t feel she deserves), but anyway I just told her she could be a reader if she wanted, because I’m fine with that.

Post # 8
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would find some way to give her an out. She sounds very toxic and damaging.

Post # 9
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

UGH I am getting mad just reeding this!!  Forget her!  She is off her damn rocker!  She needs to go see a dr for her craziness!  I feel for you!  I would def not want her at my wedding, but to be honest I would be worried she’d show up and make a scene just to get back at you!  Good luck!


One word for you.. PSYCHO!!!!

Post # 12
1982 posts
Buzzing bee

Well, the “gossipy” details are pretty telling about her character. Honestly? I’d say you need to do what your parents aren’t brave enough to do and tell her to get the heck out of your wedding. She’ll probably stop talking to you.

The thing is, Eleanor Roosevelt was right when she said that no one can make you feel inferior without your consent–if you let her get to you, she’s going to “win” in a situation where there are no winners, truly. I’d cut her out and let her deal with her mess of a life. And if you need to cite any reason, I’d just tell her that you’d rather have people who support you and can actually afford to be in the wedding. Sure, that might cause a huge flare-up from her, but it’s true, and if anything this girl needs the truth.

Post # 13
2641 posts
Sugar bee

Ahh, I’m so sad for you…and your sister too.  She seems really lost.  And all the reality show stuff, sounds like she’s doesn’t know what she wants to do with herself, and is throwing everything at the old dart board.  Perhaps at 32, it’s a bit of a biological/mid life crisis thing.  She’s completely single, no job (and perhaps unsure of her field of work anyway.)  Sure 32 isn’t exactly mid life, but being in my 30’s I had some “wow, I’m getting old” experiences myself.  (Can’t relate to a baby issue.  I have kids.)  But I can understand being 32 and feeling like you’ve wasted some times, or made some mistakes.

I hope she can get this all figured out, and get back on track.  Maybe at least a career counselor would help. 

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