- 6 years ago
i’ve been lurking on here and this seems like such a supportive awesome community. I wanted to see if you could give me some help with this. This might end up being long, so I appreciate the patience!
Boyfriend or Best Friend and I have been together for 13months, living together for 5months. I’m 33 and he’s 30, we both have good jobs and a really good life. From the very begining, it was clear from both our sides that we wanted something serious, and we have both been open and willing to move forward in our relationship quite quickly (moving in, saying i love you, meeting family, adopting pets…) because we’re a great match and fell very deeply in love.
We’ve talked about marriage and getting engaged, and he’s said we’ll be having our own wedding in the future, we’ve casually seen nice venues and said “it would be nice to get married here”, etc. So he’s not hostile to the idea. But last week we were talking about expenses we’ll have to make in the near future and I brought up the topic, that these expenses will have some impact in our engagement and wedding, and he was a bit taken aback and said “oh..well that hadn’t even crossed my mind, i didn’t have engagement in my head as something happening that soon”. I told him I would like to be engaged before I’m 35, but neither of us wants kids, so he doesn’t see the point in that timeline of mine. I know it’s not about kids, I just would like to get married sooner rather than later (I’m already the last of my friends and family), I would like to still have my grand parents be there on the day, while the’re still alive, I would like to be a young-ish bride and look good in my photos.
I know what we have now is wonderful, but I can’t help feel like an idiot for not being able to explain a logical reason for wanting to be married by 35. Has anyone been through this? can anyone help me phrase my desires in a way that makes sense and sounds reasonable to a (very logical) man? I feel like if I had the argument of wanting children, I’d be heard, but because I don’t, I got nothing.. Help?