Post # 1
Well, my wedding is booked for mid november. I originally wanted to elope with my H2B but he wanted his daughter and family there so we have booked up a small registry office ceremony and a sit down meal after.My dad said he’d help with the wedding cost and has handed over £1500, unfortunatly i think he think this has covered the whole wedding, dont get me wrong i really appreciate the extra money and its very kind of him but he made it quite clear that he would be dissapointed if he wasnt there to see me get married and i now feel that the money has come with strings….i.e. i dont think it would have been giving so willingly if we were off to get spliced alone.
My mum has been pretty useless, she didnt want to go dress shopping with me because she said she couldnt be bothered, my sister hasnt spoken to me for a year as i didnt ask ask her to be bridesmaid (in all fairness i hadnt actually asked anyone at that point!) and then my mum said she would give me some money to help and backtrackered over a completly separate issue. Since the engagement i have had so many fallings out with my family over what is meant to be a joyous occasion, i have now turned into a bit of a bitter person and am resenting having there as we have had to take out a small loan to cover the rest of our wedding. We have now had nemerous wedding guests say ‘i dont know why you didnt just run away and do it’!!!!!!!! i am livid. so i have gone to all this cost and expense and through heartache to hear those words, my H2B is great but i have organised this wedding myself, obviously with his input but i had no help from my mum and sister like helping pick flowers etc and now decided i want to cancel everything and us go and get married in 3-4 weeks just the two of us. we wont lose much money and thats the least of my problems, my the stress and family issues are makingme too anxious and unhappy. Please advise….should i follow my heart and just go off and get married or do i sit it out till November. My H2B is happy to do it and give the £1500 back to my dad. thank you so much
Post # 3
One of my friends had similar issues… just all kinds of issues with the family and with finances. She ended up inviting the family to the courthouse with her and then having a little dinner with them, and then she invited her friends separately for a BBQ. Some of us were bummed we didn’t get to watch the wedding itself, but we all understood, and the family was fine with this arrangement too. You could arrange for a little dinner or something for the family, and then do something separate for yourself and some close friends. If you met at a restaurant or had people over, it wouldn’t have to be real expensive either. Or yeah, just elope and have it be between you and your fiance! This should be a happy time, and it sounds like going through with the whole wedding is not going to be fun for you. You definitely deserve to be happy on your wedding day, so do whatever you need to to make that happen.
Post # 4
@Flippy2013: Thank you Flippy, so nice to hear some lovely, honest and un-selfish advice. I think we will end up cancelling it…i am dreading it already and its 5 months away. I know i’ve got the right man just not the right wedding. What a lash up. Thank you again!! xx
Post # 5
We’re elopeing too!!
We’ve invited his mom and brother and my mom and sister.
We plan on having a big bash in my hometown after we get hitched.
My family was starting to plan this HUGE big wedding with all this crap I don’t care about and blah and blah and …………
I threw my hands up and said OUR WEDDING, OUR DAY! It’s ok. Surpriseingly there have been no hurt feelings. Just let people know as soon as possible.
It’ll be okay!
Post # 6
What if you plan a “mini destination” wedding? Maybe just invite your dad, a very close friend or family member and your FI could have his daughter and maybe a best man? That way, at least those that are closest to you will be there and you still won’t have to pay out too much money for additional guests? Whatever you decide, just follow your heart and do what you feel is best! I’d discuss with the FI first before making any concrete decisions, just so you guys are on the same page. Best of luck to you!