Post # 1
I have had baby fever ever since we got married (a year and a half ago!) and I must admit, I have been good to not push it since I know the DH wanted to wait until he feels secure in his job. BUT now I am getting to a point where i just want to know when we will start TTC but his answer is always “in the next year or so” and has been his answer since the wedding.
He doesn’t understand why I want to know which month we will start trying but I do! Am I being too pushy or should I just keep going with the motions?? Anyone else dealing with this?
And we just recently had a more serious talk, where he opened up about fears and such.. so definitly progress!
Post # 3
That is good that you are communicating about it.
You should talk about a narrowed down timeline. Or maybe there are a couple specific goals he wants to reach before TTC. Figure these out together and when you can meet your goals. Explain to him why you want to know, maybe it is that you want to get yourself ready healthwise or whatever reason, but he should know this too.
We’ve had the talk many times and changed our timeline many times. But finally we talked about it and actually set a definite month.
Post # 4
For me and my husband, we needed to hash out all of the practical things.
-Are you on birth control? I know I want at least 6 months prior to TTC off of the pill to give my body time to adjust.
-There’s also the health issue. Do you feel you need to lose weight/get in shape/eat healthier/start prenatal vitamins? From what I hear, some MDs will recommend taking the vitamins up to a year before you even start TTC!
-How will moneyinsurance be affected? Do you need to enroll in maternative leave or short term disability? Or maybe just save up enough time off or a pregnancy fund so you’ll have some time home with the baby afterwards?
-There’s of course also the main things most people look at: age/job status/home ownership.
I’d say putting it in these terms will show him that you’re not trying to be all “OMG BABIES!!” but that you want to make sure all your ducks are in a row, and timelines are needed for that.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
Post # 5
We have taken into account all of those things. I have never been on BC (I get horrible migraines), have stable jobs, insurance, we are both in good shape, etc.
We have discussed these and he even admits that we are ready but he said he was scared. He had a really rough childhood (adoption, etc) and I know this is the main reason he is nervous and the main reason I am not pushing him at all.
Thank you guys! I am just waiting for his “OMG BABIES”!!! lol
Post # 6
OMG! I know what you’re going through… we were married right about the same time and I just can’t stop thinking about babies! Especially since his best man now has a 4 month old and we just found out another friend is 4 weeks pregnant! I did sit him down and have a conversation about finances and our goals/plans for the next 2 years. I then explained the expenses of having a baby (from a website they estimate $2500 to prep/have one and $4000 for the first year) and mentioned that this is something we can reasonably fit in our budget. Lastly, I gave a date that I thought was reasonable for us to shoot for… for TTC. He was pleasantly surprised about how much thought I had put into it and decided my timeline was spot on. We’re going to TTC this time next year. =D