Post # 1
Ideally it would be a trip with just my husband but that won’t happen since we don’t have anyone to watch the baby. We moved out of state 2 years ago but before the baby came we took trips home every 2-3 months so I never felt too home sick. All of our family and friends are there and we are kind of on our own over here. We’ve made some new friends but nothing like what we have back home. I haven’t been back home since Christmas due to pregnancy related issues. Baby is currently 7 weeks. We don’t want to take her flying yet since she’s so little. The drive is too long 16 hrs non stop so that’s out. Husband is going back without us twice for family weddings. I’m staying here by myself with baby. I feel so left out and jipped. I know he can’t miss it since its immediate family but I am so jealous. When I talk to family they are so excited about it so it makes me feel sad that I’m the only missing out. We are planning to go back all together as a family in Aug/Sept but it feels so far away and to be honest it will be more stress with the baby.
i want to take a short trip back by myself in a few weeks. It would be for example flying out Thursday night and coming back Saturday afternoon. I’d visit some friends and my parents and hit up some of the food places I miss and get my hair done (havent found anyone good here). I’m worried about what my mom and in laws would think about me wanting to leave my baby though. Do you think taking this trip is selfish of me? Should I just wait for our family trip in the fall?
Post # 2
Absolutely not selfish. You are a new Mum dealing with all the craziness that goes on and sometimes you need a break and your support networks which it doesn’t sound like you have in your new area. You mentioned that your husband will be flying without you and the baby – do you think your mother or in laws would think he was selfish for doing this?<br /><br />Even though bubs is a big priority you need to take care of yourself first – that whole concept of putting your own oxygen mask on first.
I hope you enjoy your trip and that your husband enjoys the bonding time with his child. 🙂
Post # 3
Do it! Why would it be selfish? As a mother and im ashuming first time, you needto look after yourself aswel as your child if you need to go home, go home! it will benifit the whole family as staying away could make you depressed. And aug/sep is only 3months away!
Post # 4
hspw714: Do it! Your baby has two parents, so it’s perfectly reasonable that baby stays with your hubby & you get to visit your family and friends too.
Post # 5
I think as long as your baby can sleep in a crib by herself, and drink from a bottle, you should be done going back by yourself. Your mom and other people might be upset that the baby’s not with you, but that’s only because they have a selfish the selfish want of spending time with the baby. It’s okay for you to be selfish every once in a while!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t have done it at that age but both my babies were breast fed. I was just committed to having to mostly meet their needs for a year.
Post # 7
It’s not selfish at all! And if they say it is (although I’m not sure how they could think it is) ignore them. I moved away from where I gree up and get home sick. I haven’t made friends here other than my in laws. My kids are older and my mom doesn’t see them often so I’m taking them with me but in going up for a week early July for a visit.
An this will be time for baby and Daddy to hang out with some one-on-one time that they probably don’t get too much (assuming he works during the day).
Go for it and have a great time!!
Post # 8
I would just wait for the 2-month vaccinations and then take the baby on the flight. I know you said you don’t want to do that, but it would be the best option to me. Note: I have an 11-week-old baby!
Post # 9
If you’re comfortable leaving your baby for a few day, then that’s alll that matters. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. It’s not like you’re abandoning your baby – you’re leaving your kid with his dad! You need to take care of you, and if some home time will help pump you up, then go for it!
Post # 10
Not selfish and I’ve heard it’s actually good for the dad to be left alone with the baby early on as it allows for more bonding! He’s the parent too!
Post # 11
LibrarianBride: Definitely that. there are two parents, not just you. Taking some space for yourself and letting dad bond with baby sounds good.
Post # 12
I don’t see a problem with it as long as baby can drink out of a bottle and you’re comfortable with it. Since it’s only a few days, I think it’s fine as long as you have enough pumped/frozen milk. I imagine if your parents or anyone else says anything it’s probably because they’re a little selfish and want to see the baby!
Post # 13
He will be leaving the baby twice with the mother. You would be leaving the baby once with the father. Why is different for the mom? You both have equal responsibility for the child. I assume you aren’t breastfeeding, so I don’t see the issue. Even if you are BFing, you could pump milk to leave behind and supplement with formula if there isn’t enough.
Post # 14
Why would it be selfish? As long as you are not BFeeding you are a fine. Your DH is a parent to and should be able to stay with his child by himself just like you can.
Post # 15
Do it if thats what you want to do! I went away for the weekend to a bachelorette party and my son was only 13 weeks. I did miss him and my husband but it was nice to feel like myself again even if only for a short while.
Don’t ever feel like you are being selfish for wanting to do something for yourself. It is important for you to take care of yourself!