Want to take short trip without baby and husband but worried about the backlash

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 2
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Absolutely not selfish. You are a new Mum dealing with all the craziness that goes on and sometimes you need a break and your support networks which it doesn’t sound like you have in your new area. You mentioned that your husband will be flying without you and the baby – do you think your mother or in laws would think he was selfish for doing this?<br /><br />Even though bubs is a big priority you need to take care of yourself first – that whole concept of putting your own oxygen mask on first.

I hope you enjoy your trip and that your husband enjoys the bonding time with his child. 🙂 

Post # 3
Member
65 posts
Worker bee

Do it! Why would it be selfish? As a mother and im ashuming first time, you needto look after yourself aswel as your child if you need to go home, go home! it will benifit the whole family as staying away could make you depressed. And aug/sep is only 3months away!

Post # 4
Member
715 posts
Busy bee

hspw714:  Do it! Your baby has two parents, so it’s perfectly reasonable that baby stays with your hubby & you get to visit your family and friends too.

Post # 5
Member
7258 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I think as long as your baby can sleep in a crib by herself, and drink from a bottle, you should be done going back by yourself. Your mom and other people might be upset that the baby’s not with you, but that’s only because they have a selfish the selfish want of spending time with the baby. It’s okay for you to be selfish every once in a while!

Post # 6
Member
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t have done it at that age but both my babies were breast fed. I was just committed to having to mostly meet their needs for a year. 

Post # 7
Member
134 posts
Blushing bee

It’s not selfish at all! And if they say it is (although I’m not sure how they could think it is) ignore them. I moved away from where I gree up and get home sick. I haven’t made friends here other than my in laws. My kids are older and my mom doesn’t see them often so I’m taking them with me but in going up for a week early July for a visit. 

An this will be time for baby and Daddy to hang out with some one-on-one time that they probably don’t get too much (assuming he works during the day). 

Go for it and have a great time!!

Post # 8
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would just wait for the 2-month vaccinations and then take the baby on the flight.  I know you said you don’t want to do that, but it would be the best option to me.  Note: I have an 11-week-old baby!

Post # 9
Member
9528 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

If you’re comfortable leaving your baby for a few day, then that’s alll that matters. I don’t think it’s selfish at all. It’s not like you’re abandoning your baby – you’re leaving your kid with his dad! You need to take care of you,  and if some home time will help pump you up, then go for it!

Post # 10
Member
479 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Not selfish and I’ve heard it’s actually good for the dad to be left alone with the baby early on as it allows for more bonding!  He’s the parent too!

Post # 11
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

LibrarianBride:  Definitely that. there are two parents, not just you. Taking some space for yourself and letting dad bond with baby sounds good.

Post # 12
Member
8592 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I don’t see a problem with it as long as baby can drink out of a bottle and you’re comfortable with it.  Since it’s only a few days, I think it’s fine as long as you have enough pumped/frozen milk.  I imagine if your parents or anyone else says anything it’s probably because they’re a little selfish and want to see the baby! 

Post # 13
Member
692 posts
Busy bee

He will be leaving the baby twice with the mother. You would be leaving the baby once with the father. Why is different for the mom? You both have equal responsibility for the child. I assume you aren’t breastfeeding, so I don’t see the issue. Even if you are BFing, you could pump milk to leave behind and supplement with formula if there isn’t enough.

Post # 14
Member
6644 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Why would it be selfish? As long as you are not BFeeding you are a fine.  Your DH is a parent to and should be able to stay with his child by himself just like you can. 

Post # 15
Member
1871 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Do it if thats what you want to do! I went away for the weekend to a bachelorette party and my son was only 13 weeks. I did miss him and my husband but it was nice to feel like myself again even if only for a short while.

Don’t ever feel like you are being selfish for wanting to do something for yourself. It is important for you to take care of yourself!

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