- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
I'm 24 and have a 2 month old.. finances are a bit tight now, to get my 12 weeks of maternity leave I'm taking 6 weeks unpaid, but we're making it work. We got married at 23 and heard a lot of the same stuff, don't get tied down too early blah blah.. I think that you can do what you want to with a husband (& baby) if you want. If you're in good shape financially then I see no reason to wait, if you're emotionally ready :)
Okay DH and I had our baby when we were 21 he is 18 months now. Finances were tight in the begining, but thats about it. It will change your life, and you wont find puke and poop, and drool quite as gross anymore LOL but I dont regret having him when we were young. We are in a good place right now and I am happy that we have someone to share that with! He made us both want to work harder you know? The tough thing when you are young is if you have friends that dont get it and are still in their drink evey night, no responsiblity party phase. We are luck enought to have grerat friends and family, but I know a lot of young moms that struggle with that! I think if you and your husband are in a good place and you want to TTC go for it!
You have to do what is right for you. I think 25 is a fine age to have a kid.
When peope say an age is too young, it comes out of experience either with themselves, friends or statistics so even though it can hurt, they usually dont mean to be malicious.
Just make sure you and your husband not only have money and logistics planned to make it as easy as possible, but more important you two have had time to be a husband and wife, to travel or to do whatever it is you want to do. Because once the baby comes all that becomes very low priority and for many people, though not all, those things stop happening for a very long time.
I have friends who had babies young. They would not change their kids for anything, but they would love to be able to have had more time before having them. However, I am talking 18, 21, 22. Not 25.
@organizedbride11: DH and I have already kind of distanced ourselves from those friends because we aren't big fans of the party scene anymore. We would much rather go out to dinner and come home and watch a movie. Thanks for the advice! :)
@lefeymw: Great advice. DH just got a new job that will allow him to work from home most of the time, and I plan on being a SAHM, so our situation would really be ideal. I feel like people nowadays view 25 as the new 18; people are often surprised that both DH and I have careers and aren't working random retail jobs at our age. I feel a lot more mature than other people our age.
@brideatbeach: I am jealous! Great set up. (not that I want to be a SAHM actually) but its great you will both be around a lot.
Good luck.
I think 25 is an odd age. Some people are well established (I was too) and others are just beginning their career or have yet to figure out what they want to do.
I will be 24 when my baby is born in March. Yeah, I do kind of feel like I may be a bit young... but DH and I are established, married and financially stable even with me going to be a SAHM for a while. If it feels right, do it.
@lefeymw: Yeah, I only want to do it up until our kids are old enough to go to school. I feel weird even admitting it because I'm a total feminist and most of the people in my social circle would hate the idea if they knew I was having it. I don't think a woman's place is simply in the home, but my mother stayed home with me as a kid and we had a lot of really special learning moments. I totally respect whatever a mother decides to do.
Granted I'm not a under 25 mom to be. I'm 29 and expecting our first. But we always feel that had we not waited so long for marriage we would easily have 1 or 2 kids by now.
I really do feel age is a relative number. Some are so mature at 21 while others are still immature at 30.
If you are emtionally ready and have the financial means to make a baby work, then why not? Don't let a number OR the opinions of others affect you and your husband's plans. Everyone has a different agenda, a different goal, do what's right for you and your husband and that future baby. That's it.
DH and I were 24 when DD was born and yes things changed and were difficult in the beginning (after all you are taking care of another little human) BUT I wouldn't change it for the world, I would do it all over again, if you both are ready then I say go for it, believe me things will be tight but you will do everything to make it work for your LO, good luck!
These comments have really made me feel like we're ready.
My heart is beating so fast right now (in a good way lol) because I'm realizing how soon this could all happen for us...
I'm 26 and have a 7 y/o son and am currently expecting my 2nd (DH's 1st.... he's 21). I couldn't imagine waiting till 30 to start having kids... Infact I'm on the other end and want to be done having all our kiddos BEFORE 35. AND DH is uber excited and he's even younger.
As long as you and your hubby are ready emotionally, financially, and relationally, I wouldn't worry about what others opinions are. =)
yeah, super jealous 30 something here. we initially wanted to have kids at 26, but the economic implosion got in the way and we are still recovering. Have your kids while the money is good--don't wait. as someone who made it to the other side of their twenties without kids, you will not miss anything by starting your family a few years earlier than you initially planned.
Sicne college, I've also looked at 30 as the ideal tie to start a family. Currently I'm 28 and since getting married, have thought often about starting a family before 30. However, for me the question is quickly answered when I look at our life and imagine how a child would fit in. I can't see a child in our current lifestyle as we are both working long hours toward building a career and enjoying having income to take nice vacations and weekend trips. We like to go out to dinner and spend time with friends (none of our local friends have kids). Of course you and your husband know when the timing is right for you but it's helpful to look at a week and see how much of what you are doing could be done with kids and if you are willing to drastically change your life at this point. Don't get me wrong, I know I want kids and will need to change something but I think it's okay to take a few more years for us before adding babies to the mix.
We had our son in the middle of my university career when I was 24 (not planned). I would not change that for anything in the world because I love him so very much, but it would have been nice to have had my university finished, and maybe to have had more time as a married couple or to travel or to get our finances straight.
My only advice would be to make sure that you have done some of the things you want to do before having children and to make sure that your life is set up as best as you can to acommodate a new person in your life.
Now I really want a second child as our son is going to be 4 next year and financially we are trying to catch up. The reality is I may not get the second child that I want due to financial reasons (we rent on a military base and desperately want our own house. So - house or second child...?)
Everyone has a different situation, if you feel that you are ready now than go ahead. Having a baby was the most amazing thing ever. I just wish we had our life set up a little more than we did - but that was our situation.
I was 19 when I had my fist child and I was a single mom. Not being financially set was the only setback I had. There is still some traveling I want to do and it will get done at some point. I already had my partying phase done in my life. And thankfully most of my friends understood that my life had changed and our relationships didn't change. My advice to you is if you are financially ready for it then go for it. Just remember that you will still need to go out occasionally. Date nights are wonderful things. :)
I was pregnant with my daughter at age 23. She was unplanned but is very much loved, spoiled and adored by us and our entire family. I sometimes do wish we had been better off financially but as far as having her, absolutely no regrets.
Personally, I think waiting to have kids is a good idea. I just wanted to chime in because how else will you get a variety of opinions? I just think there is no rush. Enjoy being married and make the most of it. When you have kids it will be for the rest of your life. Enjoy your freedom. Children are a blessing and people do not regret having them, but that is different from asking when they should be planned. If you have a strong marriage, either way things will work out, but I think waiting is good. I recommend accomplishing as much as possible for you personally prior to having children, but that is just my belief from personal experience and talking to women who had children young. They tell me they wish they had waited (though they LOVE their children) in retrospect and done more for them to feel fulfilled. Many of them are back in college with me, and there is nothing wrong with that either.
I was 17 when I had my daughter. No I didn't have money but I had support of family and would not have changed a thing. Life just happens sometimes when you're not planning it. You sound like you guys are financially secure. As long as it is what you both want who cares about age? I have 3 kids, 21, 18 and 17. I will be 39 this Thanksgiving. I love my girls more than anything in this world. They make me who I am. I am a proud and very young mother! I am a strong believer that God will give you what you can handle! Good Luck in TTC!
I can just talk about my personal experience. I got my son when I was 25. It was a blessing. It is surely a lifechanger, but I can only give you the advice that if this is what you guys really want, go for it. I do believe that I don't think you will never ever get "ready" for this before you embark on that journey itself. It's just something that happens, and when it does, it is lovely and wonderful. Good luck!
I think that as long as you are both emotionally and financially ready for it, then go for it! Granted, I am 21, engaged, and have not had any kids yet. But I know that I am already starting to feel like 'if this happened, I would be happy, and we could do this'. I just know that for me personally, finances are currently an issue. But I honestly think age is just a number, what really matters is your maturity level and finances.
My son was born when I was 24; he was planned, but was part of the monumental rush of graduate from grad school/buy a house/start a new job/etc. While I am an advocate of having children young (I have the energy and patience that older parents/friends swear they don't have), I would just recommend being settled in each life stage for at least a year before jumping the gun. I wish I would have had time to get settled in my job before getting PG (I was on bed rest for 5wks so with maternity leave, I was out for a LONG time and it was tough to get back into the swing of things when I came back) and settled in my house. It seemed like this whirlwind frenzy and there was no time to just live. I remember being at the hospital in labor thinking "how did I get here?". Good luck regardless! Babies are a blessing for sure... they are just a lot of work!
I really appreciate all of the different opinions represented in this thread. The whole point of me initiating it was to hear a variety of opinions, so I'm glad that's what I've received. It's given me a lot of food for thought and ideas to discuss with DH. I hate when I start a thread and people just tell me what I want to hear, and that definitely hasn't been what has come from this thread. So thanks, ladies! :)
I'm with you.. I'm 22 and will be married soon. and I've heard from EVERYONE, it's great you're getting married you guys are perfect for each other but NO BABIES..
and I've been baby hungry lately!! I see pregnant ladies and I get jealous, i don't know if that's the right word.. I just want to be pregnant sometimes.. not now but after the wedding. I'd be happy to get pregnant after a year of marriage but i don't think that'd be smart... ;/
I'm with you.. I'm 22 and will be married soon. and I've heard from EVERYONE, it's great you're getting married you guys are perfect for each other but NO BABIES..
and I've been baby hungry lately!! I see pregnant ladies and I get jealous, i don't know if that's the right word.. I just want to be pregnant sometimes.. not now but after the wedding. I'd be happy to get pregnant after a year of marriage but i don't think that'd be smart... ;/
@brideatbeach: I think you've received some awesome advice here - particularly the advice from slicey19 where she said to look at a week in your life and see how much of what you do could be done with kids and think about whether or not you're ready to make drastic changes in your lifestyle. I think it's hard sometimes to not get caught up in the 'cuteness' of babies but if you examine it objectively and really think about how it's going to affect the rest of your life and still feel you're ready, then chances are you probably are ready.
Everyone has different circumstances which will always shade our judgment. I'm 32 and pregnant with my first; I know I'm very happy I waited until now to start a family as I feel quite fulfilled in what I have accomplished up to this point in my life, but that's me. What was good for me is not necessarily going to be good for others. I have a few friends who started their families much earlier (around 24 - 25) and some of them feel restless, wondering what exactly they've done with their life to this point; others feel satisfaction and look forward to the future when they can do all the things they didn't have the opportunity to do prior to having kids. It's all dependent on the individual and personal circumstances.
You sound like you're quite mature and have the ability to think things through thoroughly. All the best to you as you make this big decision!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| kate02121 | 12 |
| ndreighton | 11 |
| cbeyelia | 6 |
| rivierabridal | 6 |
| ladyartichoke | 5 |
| ozpeony | 5 |
| takemyhand | 5 |
| ohmystars28 | 5 |
| bonkeyball3 | 4 |
| dressamore | 4 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ohmystars28 | 1 |
| texasbee | 1 |
I never thought I would get pregnant before thirty.
But now that DH has gotten his dream job and we have more money coming in, we have been talking about TTC in the next year or so.
I am 23; he is 24.
Everyone has told us that the worst thing you can do is have a baby before thirty because it's such a life-changer; obviously, I understand our lives will change a lot once we have a baby, but the idea of TTC earlier is becoming more appealing.
To those of you that had a baby before 25, does part of you regret having kids so young? Obviously I know you love your kids and don't regret THEM, but what have been your feelings?