Wanting Single-Girl Freedom, But Married

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper

I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. Unfortunately, I can’t relate, but maybe you can talk with your husband about being able to spend a little more time with your girlfriends. I wouldn’t approach it as you wanting to have more of a single life, but let him know that time with your girlfriends to let loose is important to you.

Post # 5
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

its actually to feel that way. you start missing your friends and just want to have a ladies night. Maybe yall should talk about having one weekend where like on saturday night yall both go out him with his friends and you with your friends. We do that now but FI never wants to do anything lol so he lets me go hang out with my girls. Of course when i am away from him i found myself texting and calling him that i miss him lol

Post # 6
Member
2111 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Can you join some sort of group to meet new people? A fitness class, sewing, baking, etc…?

Post # 7
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way.  I think you should go out, enjoy time with friends, have a drink.  Do whatever.  I have always been a big advocate for ‘me time’, you need it to sustain a healthy/happy relationship.  There is NOTHING wrong with wanting to socialize outside of your marriage.  Its normal, as long as you’re not pushing boundaries.  I love going out to dinner or for drinks with friends, and I come home missing my hubby so its great for us.  He does the same thing.  So, its unfortunate you didn’t have these experiences before you were married, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have them now!

Post # 9
Member
2821 posts
Sugar bee

Girlfriends are important.  You should plan a sleepover to visit them so you can go out or meet half way once every week or two for a bit of hanging out after work. 

You’re still young and I think it’s great to be young and married but at the same time it probably works when you still allow yourself time to grow, which probably can’t all be done while holding your husbands hand.  Instead it’s your guys job to encourage and support each others growth.

I guess if it’s the companionship of female friends and being able to talk about life and get some stress out I completely understand, but if it’s to go out with them to get male attention…..than my advice probably doesn’t apply.

Post # 11
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know how you feel.  I moved to a different state two years ago, and I don’t have any girl friends here.  I thought I would connect with FI’s mother and sister, but I don’t think that will ever happen.

I try to maintain phone contact, and try to make little trips to hang out with friends once in a while. 

Do you work?  Maybe you could meet friends there?

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@go4me77: that is tough! Have you considered planning a girls weekend?  Or if your friends are an hour away, maybe try and get to your hometown one weekend day a month to see them.   In the meantime, def. try to find a way to make new friends – take some classes in something you are interested in (cooking, dancing) join a running club, whatever! 

Having my girl time has always been important to me – I have made sure to maintain that in my marriage the same way my husband makes time for his interests and hobbies.  We got married later (early 30s) – so I had my 20s to really be all about me – but having time for you is important no matter when you get married!

Post # 13
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Most of my close friends are still in my hometown which is also an hour away from me.  Go see them!  Or have them come see you – that’s what we do!  I have a few friends where I am now, but not really close ones, because all my close ones are only an hour away, I never really felt motivated to need to make new ones I guess.

Post # 16
Member
11328 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I didn’t read all of the responses but… why can’t you just go out to a bar with your friends occasionally? IMO married does not = joined at the hip. I believe in maintaining outside friendships because I think it makes me a happier more well-rounded person and thus better for my FI. I’m not saying every night or even every week. But maybe once or twice per month girl’s night? And he can have a guys’ night? My FI and his friends are considering starting up once monthly guys’ poker and cigar nights and i think it is great! 

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