- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park
Choosing the wedding party has been one of the most stressful parts of wedding planning for me! We have had a long engagement (1y3mo so far, 6mo to go) so things have been all over the place… My FH started out with a Best Man and three Groomsmen and I started with my “Man of Honor” (all males/our closest mutual friends over the past 7 years), it took me a while to ask my bridesmaids because most of my close female friends I had known less than a year when I got engaged. I was torn on inviting a close female friend that had moved far away, and FH decided he wanted to add another male friend who had been really supportive and is helping out probably the most out of everyone with the planning.
SO we ended up including everyone in the end, now we have a Best Man, a Man of Honor, 4 Bridesmaids and 4 Groomsmen. Which I feel like is a ton of people… but I’ll live. lol.
Anyway, the problem now is that one of my male cousins is good friends with my FH and is a groomsmen, and I also asked my female cousin (siblings) who I am close with to be a bridesmaid. The four of us (me, the two cousins, and my brother) were very close as kids and now I’ve sort of heard through the grapevine that my brother feels left out because they are both in the wedding party and he isn’t. He hasn’t brought it up with me directly, and has actually been more supportive and enthusiastic about the wedding than probably anything else in my life I can think of, so I feel pretty bad. But I just can’t imagine adding anyone else to our already huge wedding party. Also FH feels like if we asked my brother we would have to include his sister to make it even/avoid drama.
I’m trying to find a way to include him without calling him a Groomsmen. I don’t really want to be escorted down the aisle, so that is out. He is dyslexic and has some difficulty reading so I wouldn’t make him do something like that. I was thinking about asking him to be in charge of the rings, and maybe including him in the ceremony that way… not necessarily to walk down the aisle like a ring bearer but just to be seated, be the holder of the rings, and to be the one to present them to us. I just don’t really know what to call a position like that, some kind of attendant maybe? I’m just trying to find a good way to put it into words so it makes sense when I actually ask him.
We’re pretty nerdy so I was thinking maybe “The Lord of The Rings” just between us, but I don’t think everyone would get the joke!