- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
I am in a tough situation.
Where we live now, we pay rent (pissing away money) and we work at jobs we hate, but pay the bills. We rarely get to see each other compared to most couples. He works evenings, I work days, so all in all we see each other for my lunch hour, Tuesday evening, Friday evening, and early on Sat and Sun. I am jealous of all the bees that get to see their SO every evening and the whole weekend! (but I’m happy for you too—enjoy it!!). We share a car because we can, and it would be more money pissed away on insurance and car payments, but that means that we have to depend on walking or each other to get around, which is fine, but doesn’t give us the freedom of mobility that others have. On the positive side, it encourages more exercise and less impact on mother earth!
FH wants to open a business, but the economic climate where we live (near my family) is anything but great, and it poses a large risk on our investment money. FH is from a Greek island, and with tourism, it is not affected like mainland Greece with their economic crisis. Tourists flock to the islands each summer, so the economic outlook there is much more stable, and less of a risk for our investment funds. He has a house in Greece that he has already paid off, and his immediate family is there. It makes sense for us to move there after the wedding to start our business, live in our house, and start a life that will allow us to be financially stable and quite happy (its a greek island–I can see the Mediterranean sea from our windows! who wouldn’t be happy??) and we’d actually get to see eachother whenever we wanted (and be our own boses!).
Now, logically, people would say, hey, move to Greece! You already have a house, you can start a business and be your own boss, and you will have his family there to support you and enjoy company with. It makes sense too. Especially with tourism business, you can take time off in the winter, which is when I could come see my family and friends. So, what’s the problem you ask? Its the same problem everyone faces when they move away from their family: your parents are not going to be here forever.
My dad, as some of you know, needs a transplant, and is currently on the waiting list. He is not very high on this list (just got put on in January), but we can see him declining in some aspects. I call them up several times a week and see them at least once a week to visit and help around the house. It is hard for me to think about moving away at a time like this, but I am 27 and FH is 33, and we really want to establish our future soon. I know I will have the ability to leave Greece and come be with my dad if he gets worse or goes through transplant, but I wont BE here through everything.
I guess I am just sad for this situation, and feel guilty about thinking of leaving. My FH understands, and said he went through this process too before (his dad had quad. bypass on his heart 11 years ago) and so he moved to Greece to be near them because he knew they were getting older and he didn’t want to regret not being near them. But he told me that at one point he realized he was not living the life he wanted. He wasn’t happy there at the time, and he felt as if though his actions were those of someone waiting for someone to die, which clearly was not what he was intending or hoping for. He feels for me, and wants me to do what I want, but we both agree that we can’t put our lives on hold forever. My dad might have another 5 years, or he might get a transplant and have another 15 years. The thing is, no one knows. And, at the same time, my FH’s parents are in their 70’s, so they aren’t exactly spring chickens either.
So how do I make a decision in the midst of all of this? Or better yet, how do I cope with making the decison I really want to make (to move)?