Post # 1
So my FI has surprised me by going ahead and purchasing this beautiful sterling silver ring that I had almost been drooling over for weeks now. I had wanted to buy it myself but was convinced we’d spent too much money, he was kind enough to use his secret spending stash to get it for me.
This ring is to substitute my current engagement ring when we get married as it is just a plain sterling silver band and is dinged up already! We agreed that I would make the official switch on our wedding day (also buying a thin silver band to go with it as the wedding band portion).
So yesterday I had been wearing it for about 20 minutes – admiring the sparkle and the glamour of it. My mother had stopped by and told me I was just glowing with pride. I’ve never owned anything so nice before!
FI was quick to tell me to take it off and put it away and that I shouldn’t even be wearing it until our wedding day. This started a little spat as I see no harm in trying it on for a while and just seeing how it fit in our own home and since I don’t get to start wearing it now he should be fine with me getting a little treat. He then started on how I shouldn’t have seen it at all like it is supposed to be a big secret… his grandmother apparently told him that I shouldn’t see it at all until our wedding day.
I was able to convince FI to let me wear it out today because I had to go to the jeweller and purchase a warranty on it, the jeweller requires the ring in person to make sure it isn’t broken and the box it too big for my coat pockets – so I got to wear it around town.
I got SO many compliments on it when I was out as there is a ruby stone in the centre and small diamonds going through the band – it was sparkling like crazy! I was silly enough to allow myself to get a bit attached to it and wanted to start wearing it now. A quick call to FI to ask about it quickly knocked that idea out of my mind.
So when I got home he made me take it back off and put it in my safe, he made the comment that he doesn’t want to see that ring out for another 9 months when we are getting married. I personally find this unreasonable because I feel that I should be looking in on it every couple of weeks at least. I’d like to just be able to give it a quick shine with my cloth, try it on for a few minutes (longer if FI is out) and be able to remind myself about how beautiful it is.
My mother knows my problem and casually mentioned to him that if the ring isn’t handled at least once a month and cared for that it’ll turn black… so hopefully he’ll believe her and take the stick out of his butt.
I don’t think I am being unreasonable wanting to “visit” it every couple of weeks, I am trying to convince him that it really isn’t a big deal at all! Any opinions on this?
Post # 3
@WeddingBells2014: I think it’s weird that you’re trying to lie to your fiance to manipulate him into letting you wear the ring. That’s just kind of silly. I don’t think it’s that big of a deal for you to “visit” it before you get married, but if he feels THAT strongly about saving it for your wedding day I’d just drop it. Soon enough you’ll be wearing it for life!
Post # 4
Mine also kept my ring under lock and key before we got married! Wouldn’t let me look at it or try it on!
But finally getting to wear it on our wedding day (and every day since) has been AMAZING!
If that’s his one big request, I would go with it!
Post # 5
this new ring is to replace your old ring? why cant you wear it now?
thats what wedding bands are for, even tho im wearing my band before we get married.its just a ring and I WANT to wear it
Post # 6
@WeddingBells2014: very weird that he feels that way. My oh could have cared less….
Post # 7
@WeddingBells2014: Do you have a picture? I love ruby rings, it sounds lovely! If you’re getting a band to wear with it, then couldn’t you wear the ruby now and hide the band away for the wedding?
Post # 8
Some people think it’s bad luck, does he feel that way?
Post # 9
I don’t really see the big deal if this is to replace your engagement ring…
I just don’t understand how your grandmother said you shouldn’t even be allowed to see it before the wedding. You are a grown woman and you should be able to at least inspect the ring that you will be wearing – the last thing you need is for it to tarnish and need polishing but you don’t find out until the day of when people want pics of it!
I agree with some above posters – it is the wedding band itself you should be refraining from wearing (although I think periodic visits are ok still) and not the replacement engagement ring!
Post # 10
It’s bad luck to wear your ring before your wedding day!
Post # 11
@jessicadarling: I’m not trying to lie to him – my mother was the one trying to convince him that the ring would severely tarnish. I didn’t ask her to do that and I am positive he knows all too well what she was trying to do. The thing is that he is only saying he doesn’t want me to see it because his grandmother told him I am simply not allowed, her way would’ve been him simply telling me he bought the wedding ring but I can’t see it for a single second.
@carlypaige: When I had wanted to buy it myself I was clear that I had hoped to start wearing it to replace my engagement ring, because my engagement ring is just very sad to look at with the abuse it has taken! I thought the wedding band itself would be the issue, but since he paid for it he gets to call the shots.
@mrsmay07: I have no pictures at all because I really didn’t have the time to run and snap a picture once he told me to take it off the second time, I had assumed that I would’ve had ample time to take a picture of it and was so rushed that day it slipped my mind. I thought it wouldn’t be an issue to wear the new ring now and add the wedding band to it at the wedding!
@womanofsubstance: Nothing to do with luck at all. His grandmother had told him that I shouldn’t even see my wedding ring until our wedding day – which seems really weird to me. To her it has nothing to do with bad luck but more with “its a gift” and that I should be surprised when he gives it to me.
@JessicaJupiter: That is part of what has bothered me. I wonder what will happen if we take the ring out and it isn’t shiny – when a few periodic checks could spot a problem like that or prevent it!
The only time I am going to be able to see it again is when we go out shopping in March for the wedding band to go with it…
I understand that you shouldn’t wear the wedding band before your wedding, I wouldn’t even dream of wearing it after initially trying it on to make sure it matches my engagement ring. But I am still confused why the same rules apply to the replacement engagement ring.