(Closed) Warning: Dirty! Need sex tips..

posted 5 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Never thought I’d be discussing my sex life on the internet, but here goes…

DH and I like a little bit of dominance and submission, but draw the line at physical pain. Usually, it will involve DH tying me up with something soft and pliable or blindfolding me. The blindfold is fun because each touch is kind of a surprise since you don’t know it’s coming. Sometimes he’ll pull my hair or grab my neck during sex, but never hurt me. Or we’ll watch kinky porn as foreplay because you can watch other people do stuff you won’t do yourself. Spontaneity is also good, like him grabbing me and pushing me up against the wall and kissing me really hard or just suddenly picking me up while and putting me on the kitchen counter…

And now I will hit ‘submit’ before I lose my nerve.

Post # 5
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I recently discovered the same thing with my FI and really far from being cheesy we goings tying me up to be a total turn on to both of us and I second the blindfold, it intensifies all the other senses and adds an element of surprise! We also have a safe word we can use if it gets too much for either of us, physical pain doesn’t do anything for us at all 

Post # 6
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Toys toys and more toys !!!! Since the book 50 shades of gray there are so many toys for this that are made more available . I own a sawdust shop,so trust me on this . 

Post # 7
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Maybe it’s too “cheesy” but I enjoy being submissive too and I love when my fiance tied me up. We bought a special set of ties that go under out mattress since we don’t have a headboard. 

 

Post # 8
Member
3248 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Does he ever take a hold of your hands, put them above your head on the bed, and hold you down that way during sex? And not let them go for a while? I must say that my SO and I have a bit of the same tendancies (though not a strongly as you and your SO, sounds like) and this is something we do when feeling on the rougher side. It is HOT. 

Also, if we are in a place (like a B&B or my room in my apartment house at school, where I have housemates) where any noises would be audible, he’ll put his hand over my mouth to make me be quiet. That’s a good one too. . . though you may be kinkier than this by a long shot. . . we’re pretty “vanilla” most of the time and I’m rather innocent. ;P

Post # 9
Member
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Start with outfits like corsets and what not. It will make you feel sexier and more adventourous! Then see where it goes 😉

Post # 10
Member
229 posts
Helper bee

I enjoy being submissive..

My favorite position is me laying down on my stomach and my SO on top laying on me, that way he can hold me down and spread my legs with his.

Another thing I really like is when he does a “countdown” to when I’m allowed to… yaknow 😛 That way he is still kinda in control, and the anticipation is heightened especially when he starts counting back up haha 

Post # 11
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Good to see that there are bees out there comfortable with stepping out of the “normal” box. I have been a sub but I am currently a Dom, firstly to my submissive husband. It’s great, trust me! Any questions, DM me;-) 

Post # 12
Member
805 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@MissComicBook:  Lol, I have those ties too!

 

Since you’re not into pain OP, I’d also recommend Japanese bondage rope or bondage tape, which is just a special kind of tape that sticks to itself without being sticky and can be undone pretty easily, too. If you’re comfortable with it, you could look into a collar and leash, they have some that are very soft on the neck so it doesn’t hurt. And toys with remote controls so he can control the level of intensity. As others have said, blindfolds are fun, too. Ball gags are okay but get one that isn’t too big, they can be really uncomfortable.

 

That’s all I can think of for now… do I know too much aboout this stuff or what?

Post # 13
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Cant help you…my DH is my dominant, and Im sub. However we play to extremes with lots of pain..

I even have his ownership tattooed on my body as well as wearing a sub collar. 

As far as ways to have fun with submission and not inflict pain…have you all taken it outside the bedroom…as in get dressed up, go out, let him determine your clothing, no underwear and using toys? Remote control vibating eggs are fantastic for this purpose…

also we use restraints, cuffs, nipple clamps…they arent painful, just lots of pleasure..

you could do what a sub does in prep work…bathe him, slowly…however he gets to instruct you on what he wants you to do….meet him in the bathroom on your knees, ask him what he would like you to do for him…Im sure he can think of some things.

Post # 14
Member
1362 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I have never considered myself as submissive but reasing this I def fall into the category lol Have you tried using mirrors? My FI LOVES this, and so do I I must say, standing up doggie style (but have him hold you as you get close or you will fall lol) leaning on the counter of the dresser or the sink in the bathroom, or set a mirror on the side of the bed so you can watch… Also the tying and blindfold thing really is fun,also the dressing up, I thought it would be cheesy too but you dont have to do the whole role playing thing. Also, a tiny but of spanking (nit intense, just a soft flick with the hand) is pretty hot too at the right moment.

 I hate being in a LDR

Post # 15
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@anon00:  I’m not going to get into mine and FI’s sex life too much.. But we are into a little bit of the dom./sub. thing. It works out really well for us! It’s a challenge because I have dominant tendancies, but he loves being dominant, and I want to be submissive (I hate my dominant side). It gets fun! something we tried recently involved him putting headphones on me and played Frank Sinatra (my favorite), and also blindfolded me. This really heightened the other senses because I couldn’t hear anything but the music, and I couldn’t see anything either. I just laid there not knowing what to expect, which meant submitting to whatever he had in mind. I will say, it was quite nice Wink

Post # 16
Member
146 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TexasSpringBride:  +1

FI and I are the same way. No collar though. I just didn’t want to be the only one! haha I love it! The extreme dom./sub. activites are the best. And it’s even better when the roles are also in everyday life. It makes it exciting, and I like him being in control.

We didn’t learn we would want this until somewhat recently, so we’re still learning. But so far so good! He absolutely loves it!

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