Post # 1
Ok, this is pretty dirty so I apologize ahead of time. I’ve noticed that despite being relatively vanilla and normal, SO has a dominant side to him in bed. He would never want to do something cheesy like role play or tying me up, but without giving examples just trust me that he enjoys being dominant (even degrading me a little). This is all TOTALLY fine because I enjoy being submissive. But since this is something I only recently noticed, as we’ve become more comfortable trying new things- so I don’t have many ideas in my head.
So my question to you ladies is, what can I do to keep fulfilling this fantasy without doing anything that causes physical pain? I like to be submissive in the sense of certain dirty talking, positions and attitudes but I don’t want to be burned with hot wax or anything (and he would hate causing me physical pain too). I also don’t want to do anything that is going to be overly theatrical or stupid, like pretending to be a schoolgirl or virgin.
Any creative ways to keep this going? lol Don’t be afraid to be really nasty- even tips on what to SAY in bed would be fine.
Post # 3
Never thought I’d be discussing my sex life on the internet, but here goes…
DH and I like a little bit of dominance and submission, but draw the line at physical pain. Usually, it will involve DH tying me up with something soft and pliable or blindfolding me. The blindfold is fun because each touch is kind of a surprise since you don’t know it’s coming. Sometimes he’ll pull my hair or grab my neck during sex, but never hurt me. Or we’ll watch kinky porn as foreplay because you can watch other people do stuff you won’t do yourself. Spontaneity is also good, like him grabbing me and pushing me up against the wall and kissing me really hard or just suddenly picking me up while and putting me on the kitchen counter…
And now I will hit ‘submit’ before I lose my nerve.
Post # 4
@anemonie: LOL! Thanks for the tips. Good ideas 🙂
Post # 5
I recently discovered the same thing with my FI and really far from being cheesy we goings tying me up to be a total turn on to both of us and I second the blindfold, it intensifies all the other senses and adds an element of surprise! We also have a safe word we can use if it gets too much for either of us, physical pain doesn’t do anything for us at all
Post # 6
Toys toys and more toys !!!! Since the book 50 shades of gray there are so many toys for this that are made more available . I own a sawdust shop,so trust me on this .
Post # 7
Maybe it’s too “cheesy” but I enjoy being submissive too and I love when my fiance tied me up. We bought a special set of ties that go under out mattress since we don’t have a headboard.
Post # 8
Does he ever take a hold of your hands, put them above your head on the bed, and hold you down that way during sex? And not let them go for a while? I must say that my SO and I have a bit of the same tendancies (though not a strongly as you and your SO, sounds like) and this is something we do when feeling on the rougher side. It is HOT.
Also, if we are in a place (like a B&B or my room in my apartment house at school, where I have housemates) where any noises would be audible, he’ll put his hand over my mouth to make me be quiet. That’s a good one too. . . though you may be kinkier than this by a long shot. . . we’re pretty “vanilla” most of the time and I’m rather innocent. ;P
Post # 9
Start with outfits like corsets and what not. It will make you feel sexier and more adventourous! Then see where it goes 😉
Post # 10
I enjoy being submissive..
My favorite position is me laying down on my stomach and my SO on top laying on me, that way he can hold me down and spread my legs with his.
Another thing I really like is when he does a “countdown” to when I’m allowed to… yaknow 😛 That way he is still kinda in control, and the anticipation is heightened especially when he starts counting back up haha
Post # 11
Good to see that there are bees out there comfortable with stepping out of the “normal” box. I have been a sub but I am currently a Dom, firstly to my submissive husband. It’s great, trust me! Any questions, DM me;-)
Post # 12
@MissComicBook: Lol, I have those ties too!
Since you’re not into pain OP, I’d also recommend Japanese bondage rope or bondage tape, which is just a special kind of tape that sticks to itself without being sticky and can be undone pretty easily, too. If you’re comfortable with it, you could look into a collar and leash, they have some that are very soft on the neck so it doesn’t hurt. And toys with remote controls so he can control the level of intensity. As others have said, blindfolds are fun, too. Ball gags are okay but get one that isn’t too big, they can be really uncomfortable.
That’s all I can think of for now… do I know too much aboout this stuff or what?
Post # 13
Cant help you…my DH is my dominant, and Im sub. However we play to extremes with lots of pain..
I even have his ownership tattooed on my body as well as wearing a sub collar.
As far as ways to have fun with submission and not inflict pain…have you all taken it outside the bedroom…as in get dressed up, go out, let him determine your clothing, no underwear and using toys? Remote control vibating eggs are fantastic for this purpose…
also we use restraints, cuffs, nipple clamps…they arent painful, just lots of pleasure..
you could do what a sub does in prep work…bathe him, slowly…however he gets to instruct you on what he wants you to do….meet him in the bathroom on your knees, ask him what he would like you to do for him…Im sure he can think of some things.
Post # 14
I have never considered myself as submissive but reasing this I def fall into the category lol Have you tried using mirrors? My FI LOVES this, and so do I I must say, standing up doggie style (but have him hold you as you get close or you will fall lol) leaning on the counter of the dresser or the sink in the bathroom, or set a mirror on the side of the bed so you can watch… Also the tying and blindfold thing really is fun,also the dressing up, I thought it would be cheesy too but you dont have to do the whole role playing thing. Also, a tiny but of spanking (nit intense, just a soft flick with the hand) is pretty hot too at the right moment.
I hate being in a LDR
Post # 15
@anon00: I’m not going to get into mine and FI’s sex life too much.. But we are into a little bit of the dom./sub. thing. It works out really well for us! It’s a challenge because I have dominant tendancies, but he loves being dominant, and I want to be submissive (I hate my dominant side). It gets fun! something we tried recently involved him putting headphones on me and played Frank Sinatra (my favorite), and also blindfolded me. This really heightened the other senses because I couldn’t hear anything but the music, and I couldn’t see anything either. I just laid there not knowing what to expect, which meant submitting to whatever he had in mind. I will say, it was quite nice
Post # 16
FI and I are the same way. No collar though. I just didn’t want to be the only one! haha I love it! The extreme dom./sub. activites are the best. And it’s even better when the roles are also in everyday life. It makes it exciting, and I like him being in control.
We didn’t learn we would want this until somewhat recently, so we’re still learning. But so far so good! He absolutely loves it!