Post # 1
Okay, bees. I know this is going to be a bit immature, somewhat “don’t steal my proverbial thunder” and all-around something I would never act upon in real life. If you think I’m being ridiculous, feel free to say so, but if you’re irrationally upset at my thoughts…that’s cool. They aren’t going to change. If you have a similar situation or have some constructive thoughts, also great! If you just think I’m crazy-cakes and need to chill….I know. Lol.
So one of FI’s groomsmen proposed to his recent gf (well…fiancee now) yesterday. That’s fine. Congratulations, good luck, I hope you aren’t jumping in to anything. <– Not my call, though if you asked my opinion…..yeah.
So they aren’t having any sort of engagement party, which is fine. But that means the first time a lot of people see her with her new ring will be OUR wedding. I’m sorry but that irrationally irritates me. I don’t really like her or their relationship, and that’s exactly what is creating this distaste. It irritates me. It makes me crazy. Yes, this is the same Groomsmen that couldn’t manage to get the 2 of them to our Couples Shower last weekend even though they weren’t working. We passed the BAR they were at on the way home. (Yes, that IS where a lot of my distate and irritation is coming from, lol.)
We have been together for YEARS and are finally getting “our day” and you think we’re going to be all “Yay, Groomsmen is engaged to his new girl! I want to hear alllll about it.” No. Sorry.
How do I deal with these feelings? I don’t want to be downright rude but I honestly do not feel super happy for them. I know, it’s rude and gross, but I just don’t. I feel like ‘Wtf, you’re in our wedding in 2 weeks and you think we want to hear about your sudden awkward engagement at our bachelor/bachelorette parties?”
I know. :/ I’m terrible. I’ll go try and be normal IRL now.
Post # 3
Take a deep breath!! They will be looking at her ring for all of two seconds.
I would put it out of your mind.
Post # 4
Well, my DH’s stupid cousin had her shower 5 DAYS before my wedding, which meant that whole side travelled twice in a week to the same location. It irritated me beyond belief. Especially since they had a whole big chunk of other time they could have scheduled the shower. So I skipped it, muahahahaha
Point being, stupid shit makes brides ragey. I get what you’re feeling though, I didn’t like this cousin’s relationship either, so it was doubly irritating.
The best advice I have is that on your wedding day, YOU and your Darling Husband will be the center of attention, and nothing can take away from that.
And if you’re really bitchy, assign one of your bridesmaids to hijack any convo they hear in which the Groomsmen and his new Fiance are being discussed, and turn it back to being about the two of you 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t think you’re terrible. 🙂 But, I do think you’re a bit too worried about it all. It’s their relationship, not yours. And, if I’m going to a wedding, my main focus is on the bride and groom, not on a ring another girl is wearing. Try to relax and look forward to your day!
Post # 6
I understand where you’re coming from. We went to a wedding not too long ago, and it was the first time we were seeing a lot of people we hadn;t seen since our engagement, so we had a lot of people asking about our plans, seeing my ring, etc….but to be honest, we really brushed it off, because it wasn’t our day, and I just felt like it wasn’t really the time to talk about it.
If this girl is classy, she will do the same. If she isn’t and goes on and on about her day, she will just look like an a$$. Either way, you are going to be so busy enjoying yourself you won’t know until afterwards, so try to let it slide 🙂
Post # 7
Glad you are getting this out here. Just take deep breaths and supress your feelings. Congratulate them and tell them you’re excite they are getting married, even though you’re not. Also, realize that people will always use weddings as a chance to catch up with friends/family that they don’t see often. She will be asked about the engagement and probably talk about it with some guests. But, everyone knows it’s your wedding, so it really won’t take away from you at all.
Post # 8
I feel your pain! The last thing you need on YOUR ONE DAY is to hear about their news. Announce it for them on f.book and everyone can get their excitment out before your wedding 😉 hehe
Post # 9
Now if she shows up in a fluffy white dress armed with her wedding plan portfolio – you have my permission to spill some type of dark liquid on her.
Post # 10
don’t worry. vent away, vent away.
my latest gripe is so terrible that i can’t even stand to put it into words for anyone but my fiance. it’s cruel and selfish but damnit if it didn’t upset me.
Post # 11
She’ll have a teeny ring.
You’ll have the kickass dress. And a new ring.
I think you win! 😉
Post # 12
@AmeliaBedelia: You do NOT sound terrible. I don’t know if I’d be pissed too, but I think you sound fine. Wish I had some good advice for you 😡
I’ve been engaged at a friend’s wedding, and it must have come up a few times. It was still all about the wedding going on, though. The truth is, you’ll be so busy. Also, since she’s not in your bridal party (I think?) it should be fine for you, she won’t be around that much on the actual day.
Post # 13
@hisgoosiegirl: And if you’re really bitchy, assign one of your bridesmaids to hijack any convo they hear in which the Groomsmen and his new Fiance are being discussed, and turn it back to being about the two of you 🙂
Hahah I laughed out loud. Love that. I don’t think you’re being terrible, but I do think you might be overestimating the attention she’ll get. You and your Fiance will be the center of attention!
PS Your wedding is SO CLOSE. Best wishes 🙂
Post # 14
you are the one in the big white dress – nothing… nothing trumps that so dont worry about it
oh… but if she tries to steal your photographer for a mini e-pic session, jump her and beat her silly with your flowers
Post # 15
You’ll be the one getting married up front, so the day will still be focused on you and your Fiance.
Yes, some friends in common may ask to look at the ring when they see her, but it will certainly not take away from the wedding.
Honestly, no one NEEDS to have an e-party, and you being upset that they aren’t having one sounds a bit judgey (you asked for opinions, that’s just mine).
The first time I saw a BUNCH of my family after i got engaged was at my cousin’s baby shower. That was also when I found out another cousin was pregnant. Neither of those things took away from the event at hand.
Post # 16
You and your wedding will outshine her engagement. =) (hugs!)