Post # 1
My FI invited a mutual friend of ours to be in our wedding party, who is married. I love him, I am not a fan of his wife! She is rude and is always saying bad things about him in front of him! It drives me crazy and its so innapropriate! I do see her from time to time but have never made an effort to hang out with her. She is now upset that I didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid. I really have no idea why! We never text, call, talk on facebook, etc. Before he knew who was in my wedding party, he made a comment to me saying since he was a groomsman then his wife would have to be a bridesmaid. I’ve never heard that rule before so I disregaurded it, but now that shes so upset, I wonder if I am in bad taste in this situation?
Post # 3
@SimplyEuphoric: Nope. Your bridal party isn’t decided by partners of other people. You picked who you wanted to be in your party, and there is no reason to include someone who simply feels like they should be.
Post # 4
@SimplyEuphoric: I agree, your bridesmaids are your friends and his groomsmen are his friends. They have nothing to do with each other.
ETA: Or family members, whoever you choose. That’s what I meant to say.
Post # 5
@SimplyEuphoric: no way. she is delusional.
Post # 6
@SimplyEuphoric: Not at all. What did you say when he made that comment to you?
Post # 7
@SimplyEuphoric: I’m more confused as to why she WANTS to be your bridesmaid if she’s not close to you. Id never want to spend time and money on someone else’s wedding unless we were close. So weird.
Post # 8
Thanks guys! I really do feel bad that she is upset, but I have a lot of really close friends, and not to mention cousins, sisters, etc! It was really hard for me to choose a bridal party in the first place. I think more feelings would have been hurt if I chose her on default, because a lot of friends may have thought it should have been their spot. I’m confident that I’ve chose the best friends, and the other great friends that I didn’t choose will be more understanding.
Post # 9
I have my FI’s sister and his best friend’s wife in my bridal party…because FI asked me to invite them…and I didn’t want to argue with him..
Post # 10
Nope, that would be a pretty stupid rule. You didn’t do anything wrong, she just sounds crazy.
Post # 11
Nope. His best man is married and his wife is not a bm. We aren’t friends and I wouldn’t even consider it.
Post # 12
I’ve never, ever heard of that. All three of my husband’s groomsmen were married or in a relationship, and none of them were in my bridal party. YOU choose your bridal party, no one else.
At least, that’s how it’s supposed to be.
Post # 13
You’re right, she’s wrong. How strange. Married couples don’t automatically get to be in a wedding party together. I’ve never heard of that being a rule.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@SimplyEuphoric: You don’t owe anybody a place iny our bridal party. If she says anything else about it try to ignore her but if she gets persistent just respond that you have already put together your bridal party and that’s it. How rude of her to say anything at all!
Post # 15
@SashaUSARu: I get his sister, not his friends wife. Seems a little much. But good for you for going along with it.
Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2014 - Church
@SimplyEuphoric: Are you kidding me? Really? Seriously? You aren’t even friends and she is upset that you wouldn’t make her a BM just because her DH is a GM? Never heard of it. Been in two weddings where FI was not in it. Been to many weddings where BM or GM SOs (whether married or not) were just regular guests. No. You are not rude for making her a BM. How awkward would it be to have someone you dislike be a part of all these intimate moments that you are supposed to share with your nearest and dearest (dress shopping, getting ready, etc.). Don’t think anything of it. So long as you have her invited to the rehearsal dinner you are golden. Maybe try not to talk wedding stuff in front of her (not saying that you are, just be aware since she seems to be sensitive)