- 8 years ago
- Wedding: May 2010
Sorry I am posting under a fake account. My real name on here is too easy for someone to figure out who I am and I don’t want to offend anyone by posting this.
About a month ago, my moms Friend H sends me a message on facebook and says that she would love to host a bridal shower for me in my hometown. I talk to my mom about it and she says great, her and the friend have already agreed on it. Friend H asks me for dates and I say whenever would work for her, my schedule is wide open.
About 2 weeks ago, my moms other friends W and V also ask to throw me a bridal shower. My mom politely says we are already having one and they join in on the hosting with Friend H. Again, they start asking me for dates and I say whenever.
After going back to my hometown the past weekend, and everyone still bugging me to pick a date, I sit down with my mom and come up with a few and suggest them to the group. After a couple of emails between the group (Mom, Friends H, W, and V, and myself) we pick a date.
As the date is picked Friend V sends an email that says, “Other things to think about: theme shower like a kitchen shower, lingerie shower, BBQ shower, general shower, etc. BRIDE you need to make the decision!” Later on in the same email in the list of things to do, she says, “Decide on a themed shower or a general shower (BRIDE!)” and “Bride, do you want to have games?”
I respond that I am doing some research on themes but if the group of women come up with one they like then lets go with it!
Then as I am doing my research I come across a theme that a WB blogger did and posted about. I sent an email to the group that says: “I heard of a bride who did a theme that I really liked. They did theirs as a dessert party and everyone brought recipes for their favorites desserts. If you like that idea, I will send you the blog she wrote about the shower and all of the shower prep.”
Friend V responds and says cute idea. So I send her the links to the 4 posts that were written about the shower. She responded and said she liked invitations but they looked time consuming. She asked what the rest of the women thought of the idea.
I responded that I knew there was a lot of detail posted about the shower and many of the ideas were very time consuming and I only sent them the links as inspiration. I downloaded the template and did some revisions and sent it to the women.
THEN, my mom calls me and starts saying that I need to back off, I was way out of line to not only send the list of blog posts also by sending the template. She says it now looks like that is what I expect for the shower. I feel like I had politely tried to say, “whatever works for you works for me” but they didn’t take it, they still asked for ideas on the theme. When someone asks me again, I am not going to not answer them. So I answered them. I don’t think Friend V would have asked that persistently for me to send ideas for a theme if she didn’t want them. Needless to say it was another blow up fight with my mom that left me in tears.
If I was in the wrong and oversteped or sounded ungrateful then I really want to appologize to these women who are so generously hosting me a shower. However, I really feel like they asked once, I tried to politely avoid, and they asked again, so I responded. I feel like my mom is making this a bigger deal then it is.