Post # 1
So I found out today from my FSIL that none of my bridesmaid would be able to make it to my bridal shower due to different reasons. Anyway, I know I shouldn’t expect much but accordingly to my FSIL they set this date months ago. One BM planned a last minute trip out of the country (!), the other BM couldn’t afford to come (she lives 500 miles away and already traveled back for the bachelorette party (that I understand), and the last one couldn’t come because she has friends in town the same weekend.
I was a little annoyed because it was already hard enough to get them to plan the party (I had to change location because not all everyone could go). I even paid for their dresses so they wouldn’t be financial burden to be BM.
Anyway, I told my FSIL that it’s ok since we are all going to the bachelorette party. Then she said to me “I’m sorry that all your BMs flaked”. Ok, did I don’t think I needed her to point this out – so I told her honestly I was ok with skipping the bridal shower (FSIL was stressing about planning since non of the BM cared). I knew she put in alot of effort in it so now I feel guilty, but I would have preferred if she didn’t do anything of this since I don’t think the BMs cared enough to attend anyway.
All I asked is just their time (one weekenend, one afternoon, and one wedding day in their lives), I guess I’m asking too much? I know I would do the same if they in return ask me to be BM. Even when I wasn’t a BM, I still went to the party and bridal shower. I don’t have many females relatives or friends in the area so it’s hard to ask more people to come. I just wish I won’t have a bridal shower now since i feel like I’m stressing out over this. 🙁
Post # 3
Wow. I think that is so wrong of your bridesmaids. Why would one plan a last minute trip? She couldn’t pick any other week?? And the one has friends in town? Big deal, I’m sure those friends will be around more than just that day. The only one I can sort of understand is the out of towner BM. And they can’t even make the bachelorette party either? That’s wrong considering they are flaking on the shower already.
I would be so disappointed if I were you. But DONT let them ruin your shower. The bridal shower is a part of the whole getting married thing. This is your day, don’t let them ruin that for you. And yes, your FSIL has already started planning. I would be considerate of that. Tell her you are sorry & that you were just a little bummed about your friends and enjoy your shower!
Post # 4
@katkat123: It’s a shame they’re not as excited as you’d like or would be for them. However, I would try not to get too upset about it, maybe the one who booked just got a really great deal? I would be more annoyed about the one who’s in town but can’t spare the couple of hours. Still, try and enjoy the fact that you have a great FSIL, and make it clear to her that you’re grateful for her planning everything for you, as what you said could have come off as a little ungracious. You’ll have a lovely time even if it’s small – you’ll have more of a chance to actually interact with your guests!
Post # 5
@katkat123: Yeah I think you can be a little sad they can’t make it but I wouldn’t hold it against them personally. I have almost always been a LDB (long distance bridesmaid) and rarely made it back for a shower. The brides never pushed it because they realize that flying for the wedding is expensive, as well as other obligations (dresses, hair done, presents, etc). In my opinion, the shower is optional for out of staters. I’ve always been one to make it to the bach party though 🙂