Was I overreacting?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

He was probably mad that you yelled at him – I know my DH would have been. I don’t think it’s something to dwell on. 

Post # 4
Member
898 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@MrsBeck:  I probably would have scowled at my FI and then left him to figure out how he was going to move the furniture ALONE.

ETA: I’m admittedly a giant baby.

 

 

 

Post # 5
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah sorry, it doesn’t seem like something to dwell on to me.

Post # 6
Member
7262 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

I would be upset too. I think guys sometimes get into a work mode during things like this (moving), and they forget to have normal human being feelings! He might have also been feeling bad that you got hurt, and didn’t want to dwell on it. Who knows, sometimes guys are just weird.

Post # 8
Member
5222 posts
Bee Keeper

@MrsBeck:  Moving is stressful, and if you feel like you’re the “stronger” party, then it becomes 1000x more of a production. I wouldn’t like being yelled at, either– especially if it was an accident. I am sure at that point he wished y’all would have just hired a moving company so that this could have been avoided.

TBH, having been in a relationship before where the guy was a complainer/over-reactor by nature… it gets really, really annoying and it becomes difficult to differentiate between legitimate issues and their usual bitching and moaning. I would let it go and then apologize for yelling.

Post # 9
Member
480 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m probably not the best person to give advice on this as I hate it when people get upset because they’ve hurt themselves, my view is always just to get on with it and crying isn’t going to help.  I think he should have asked if you were okay, but that moving is a stressful experience, you still have stuff to move and someone bursting into tears isn’t very helpful.  So yes, I do think it was wrong to not ask, but as said, he was probably annoyed with being yelled at.  So I don’t know

Post # 10
Member
91 posts
Worker bee

I winced reading this, it sounded so painful and scary. Yes, I would be concerned if something so heavy fell on someone’s leg. But it sounds like your immediate reaction was to yell at him, cry and lash out. It’s tough to act loving when one’s SO acts that way.

Post # 11
Member
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MrsBeck:  ok we’ll no I wouldn’t be upset of he didn’t come to my side after I screamed at him. its not his fault you fell. I wouldn’t be thrilled to be yelled at in that situation either. I totally get why he wasn’t running to help. 

Post # 12
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would have been pissed, but I know that my FI would have made sure I was ok first because that is just the kind of guy he is. He also probably wouldn’t have asked for my help to move a 200 lb thing. He knows I would just get in the way and be less help in that situation. I’m better at moving little things 😛 He is a big strong guy anyway, I’d probably make fun of him if he couldn’t move something that was 200 on his own, he can bench more than that! Lol anyway, I’d be pretty damn upset, it’s his job to at LEAST kiss it better! ;P

Post # 13
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@MrsBeck:  I don’t think you were overreacting given the details here, BUT, I also know that men, when in “work mode” have one thing on their minds “GIT ER DONE” so, I’m not terribly surprised he wasnt gushing with sympathy at the moment. Not saying that’s right or wrong, but the men folk in my family probably would’ve been just as dismissive, in that same scenario :-/ His comments were a little off-putting tho, for sure. 

HENCE, after our last big move, I told DH that it will be HIS JOB from now on to assemble an appropriate work crew for moving big things, and I’m not to be bothered by anything more complicated than unpacking boxes or hanging pictures, period 😛 

i hope you feel better!!! i myself just got over a meniscus tear and it about killed me dead, the pain! NO FUN dear, ice it and rest up!!!

Post # 14
Member
1690 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Moving can be really stressfull, I know it was for my FI and I, moreso then anything else we’ve been through together. We lashed out a few times at eachother during the process. You yelled at him, he didn’t console you.. Oh well, you were both frustrated, it happens.. Move on. In the grand scheme of things, it doesn’t matter.

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