Post # 1
So one of my BM, BM 3, has been very distant, she ignores my calls, ditches me when we are supose to hang out, says she doesnt have a way to meet up with me (she lives 5 mins away) but drives to parties when she is supossedly prego. And she didnt want to go with me when I picked out a wedding dress and its sure if she can make it to try on BM dresses in two weeks ( i offfered to drive both times because she doesnt have a car and informed her weeks before!)
That is another issue in it’s self, at first she said her due date was a month after my wedding now it’s days before, and when discussing dress styles (to accommadate her nine month baby bump) her mom informs me she is not prego, that she had her take a test and it came out NEG!!! She says she is lying to her Mom and roomate, that she is telling me the truth I dont believe it!
Third she just lost her job and has no money for baby stuff and will have to move if she is prego because her roomate doesnt want babies in the house, let alone a dress, shoes, and money to help with shower and bachlorette(sp) party.
Forth she doesnt have a car and I will be staying at a hotel 30 mins away so I would have to go pick her up and drive back to the hair appt. I will also have to do this the night before for the rehersal, thats stressfull!
So I gave her the option to back out and she freaked out on me saying I was being judgemental about her pregnancy, mind you last year my friend exed me and told me it was because i was pregnant & I still supported her but we fell apart after the wedding!
Am I wrong for asking her to step down???
Post # 3
she sounds sketchy all together… i think you should tell her that it is your big day… and you dont need the extra stress…. tell her your reasons… she hasnt made it to dress shopping… or even to just hang out… etc… you are not a babysitter… you are the bride!
Post # 4
this is super weird. her mom just volunteered the information that she’s not preggers? if she isn’t preggers, than it sounds like the poor girl needs some psychiatric help. if she IS preggers, than the mom is nutso….
i guess it all depends on whether or not she is actually pregnant. if she is pregnant, than yeah, i can imagine needing to give her more leeway as it sounds like she is going through quite a bit right now, and your wedding might be lower on the priority list. if she isn’t pregnant, it sounds like she just needs a good friend to help her through what is obviously an altered mental state.
Post # 5
I would give her the option of backing out. She really doesn’t seem like she is that into your wedding.
Post # 6
I am confused. So is she pregnant or not? And if she is not why is she telling you she is? She is obviously telling someone lies. I don’t think it was rude of you to give her the option of stepping down. It sounds like she has a lot going on. If she decides to not take the option, let her figure out the dress situation herself. She can ride with the other BM’s or arrange rides with someone else. You shouldn’t feel like a her taxi.
Honestly, weddings have a way fo showing you who you friends are. If she is making this whole pregnancy thing up to get attention, she has some serious issues. Sorry your BM is working your nerves.
Post # 7
I honestly dont know!!! Her mother and I had some words because I was talking about materenity dress for BM3 and she was like WTF? I told her that her daughter had informed me last month she was pregnant, so her Mom made her take the test and told me the results, I then called BM3 and asked why she lies about being pregnant and she swears up and down that she is, that she is lying to her mother because she doesnt want her to be disapointed, but I believe the piss stick!
I have thought she wasnted an out since I asked her and since she has been ditching me, but she got mad when I suggested she back out! Thats why I dont know what to do, I dont know if she is jelous and trying to get attention from me or what
Post # 8
I’m jokingly suggesting this: Invite her over and tell her to pee on a stick for you.
This stuff is crazy, she’s too much drama to be a friend for me, I’d cut her.
Post # 9
Seriously … Planning a wedding can be enough stress at times. You definitely don’t need “friends” making it worse. Give her the option to back out, it will definitely decrease your chances of unnecessary drama
Post # 10
Why would she want the extra stress and have to fork out the dough? If you are close with her mom maybe talk to her?
Post # 11
How does one make someone take a pregnancy test? That’s my only questions lol.
She sounds sketchy to me though…
Post # 12
You guys were totally right and thank you so much for your advice;
I have learned since this posting that my friend has developed a sevre addiction to pain pills, and she was never pregnant, why she told me that we will never know; I had given her a second chance and made an appt to try on dresses. The night before I get a text that she can’t make it she has a phsyical therapy apt, normally I would let it go, but we had talked the day before and she said everything was a go when she knew of this therapy apt for weeks!
Then she texts me two days later “Sorry I didnt text I was at the hospital” not did you have fun but can you get me any pills because the hospital wont give me anymore!!!!! I told her no she was pregnant, she said she wasn’t and needed the pills, I hung up and haven’t talked to her since(almost a week) So I offically only have two bridesmaids!
Thank You for your support!!
Post # 13
this exactly why i am thinking of not having bridesmaids at all. It’s just way too much hassle to deal with.