was I wrong

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@brittanyfm91:  Yikes, that’s a really insane reaction by him. Were you guys bickering already before he went to make the cupcakes? Does he normally talk to you that way? Regardless of what I could say to him, DH would never say that to me. 

Post # 4
Member
2630 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@brittanyfm91:  And btw…happy birthday! I’m sorry it hasn’t gone how you wanted especially since your request was so modest. I hope you have a fabulous week at least!

Post # 6
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@brittanyfm91:  Oh no, that sounds terrible, I’m sorry to hear that your birthday was such a mess, but I’m more sorry to hear that your FI spoke to you that way. What you were asking for was not much… He could’ve woken up, taken care of the kids, and made cupcakes… not that hard. What I don’t understand is why he gave away all the cupcakes before you even got to celebrate, that’s kind of strange. I’m sorry 🙁

Post # 7
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I am sorry to hear about your bad birthday experience…I totally understand how you feel.. I also believe that every person has a right to be a little selfish on his/her birthday; and receive some special treatment…and if somebody will ever treat me like that on my special day I will get really mad with them

Post # 8
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

not too much to ask at all! i would be upset.

Post # 9
Member
691 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

He was dead wrong. Period. He sounds like he was behaving like a jerk. I wouldn’t talk to him for a few days.

Post # 10
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@brittanyfm91:  No you were not overreacting. To my mind he did two really bad things: sleeping in until 2pm (even if they’re not his kids it doesn’t matter: living with you means shared parenting); and swearing at you. The only 4 cupcakes was a minor thing, the two of you should have been able to laugh it off but the way he sweared at you is not cool at all. I don’t know the nature of your relationship but my DH has never, ever spoken to me like that.

Post # 11
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@brittanyfm91:  I had a selfish BF like that. 8 years of nothing. I was miserable, not just because of that, but in general he was selfish, abusive and he did NOT care about me, he even considered watching his own children to be babysitting (a freaking favor) for me. The best thing I ever did was leave him in the dust. You deserve a man who cares for you, respects you and makes an effort to see you happy, just the same way you do for him. 

Post # 12
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

No consideration at all. That was so rude of him. You should get at least one day to feel special.

Post # 14
Member
1175 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@brittanyfm91:  So sorry.  I con totally relate, single mom here for almost 17 years.  And all I EVER WANTED was some peace and quiet.  Needless to say, it has never happened.  They are grown now…..so I can forsee my next birthday being exactly that.

As far as him using the fuck word, totally un-necessary, and hurtful.  I hope he is not this way with the kids.

Giving all the cupcakes away is just rude.

Your birthday should be about you, and unfortunately when we become a mom, this (IMO) is not usually the case.  I would wait until they have all gone to bed and make my own cake and enjoy in silence.

Happy Birthday!!  Try to make the best of what is remaining of the day.

 

Post # 15
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Wow, you’re not wrong. I broke up with my ex who did the same shit. For my bday/anniversaries, he did shit. I did so much for him. And for v-day, I bought him these gourmet chocolate covered cherries and his mom saw them and was like “Oh what’s that” and he gave them all to her – he didnt even have ONE. They were supposed to be for us to share after we went out for dinner. That was the first time i realized he didn’t know how to have a gf.. and our relationship never really bounced back after that until ultimately I broke up with him 9 months later (took that long).

If this is something you experience on your bdays all the time – ask yourself if that’s something you want for the rest of your life. I didn’t. I want someone who treats me the way I treat them on their special days. It’s just a bday, but I make it special, so I expect an effort in return. I feel like it’s unfair for one person to put in so much more effort into making the other person feel special (essentially, more effort into the relationship) than the other.

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